Through Fire and Flame
by CasusFere
Summary: 28 Red Alerts for the meme that's been running around. 28 short stories featuring Red Alert, Autobot Security Director. Slash.
1. Silly

A/N- I promised myself I wouldn't start anything until I finished two of my in-progress stories... I got one finished, that's good, right? ... right?

Anyway, I decided Red Alert never gets enough love. That's probably a good thing, in retrospect, because he'd probably decide it was a Decepticon plot. Some of these stories will contain slash. First up: Silly Red Alert.

x-xxx-x

"Hysterical control freak," Slingshot muttered, entering the security code. "Isn't three layers of security outside enough? No, he has to have every fraggin' door on the command deck locked, too."

"Are you sure you should be saying stuff like that?" Fireflight looked around nervously. "He could be watching!"

"Let him. It's a fragging maintenance storage area! He key-coded a slagging parts bin!" He yanked open the door. "He's crazy, and he shouldn't be allowed even near a weapon, much less allowed to be an officer." He raised his voice, glaring at the security camera. "You hear that, you slagging nutcase?" Slingshot stalked into the storage room, ignoring Fireflight's attempts to shush him.

Fireflight lingered in the doorway as Slingshot searched the shelves.

"Don't just stand there, help me with this!" Slingshot growled at his gestalt-mate.

Reluctantly, Fireflight let the door slide shut and went to help Slingshot.

"Here it is," Slingshot grunted, shoving a box at Fireflight. "Let's get out of here." He entered his security code at the door.

_Incorrect passcode._

"What the slag?" Slingshot muttered. He punched the code again.

_Incorrect passcode._

"What is it?" Fireflight shifted the box he could see.

"This stupid door won't open."

_Incorrect passcode._

"Let me try." Fireflight handed off the box.

_Incorrect passcode._

"Huh. Weird."

Slingshot glared at the security pad. "This isn't funny, you neurotic bastard!"

"You don't think he'd really-" Fireflight started.

"Slag yes he would!" Slingshot kicked the door. "He changed our security codes!"

Fireflight sighed, activating his radio. They were _never _going to live this down.

A few minutes later a laughing Air Raid pulled open the door. "You guys got locked in a_ closet?_"

Our codes wouldn't work!" snarled Slingshot, brushing past him.

"Really? Are you sure you didn't just forget how to open the door?"

"Yeah, watch." Fireflight let the door close behind him, and entered his code.

_Passcode accepted._

The door slid open.

"…Maybe the door is malfunctioning?" Fireflight ventured.

"Or maybe you got the wrong code," laughed Air Raid. "Either way, I've got to get in the air; I'm late for patrol already." He waved and trotted off. "Try not to get locked in any more closets!"

Slingshot grumbled and stalked to the lifts, Fireflight in tow.

"I don't even know why they let that nut handle a camera, much less the entire security network," Slingshot muttered, leaning against the lift wall.

Fireflight just shrugged. "It could have been a glitch."

"Sure it could." Slingshot snorted. "I-"

The lift suddenly jerked to a stop. Fireflight tried the controls.

_Security override,_ read the display.

"ARG!"

x-x-x

Red Alert smirked at the screen. This was fun.

"You're a bad, bad person, Red," drawled Inferno, sounding more amused than accusing.

"Who, me?" On screen, Slingshot beat on the lift door. "I'm just resetting the protocols. Routine security-net maintenance."

"You're supposed to do that when there's nobody on the lifts," Inferno pointed out.

"Technicality. Scheduling maintenance updates is the responsibility of the Security Director. It's not my fault if they didn't check the board."

"Never mind that you added it about two minutes ago."

Red Alert smirked at him. "Exactly."

"You gonna let them out any time soon?"

They watched Slingshot kick the lift door for a moment.

"Maybe in an hour or two."


	2. Naughty

A/N – I had a mild moment of frustration regarding Inferno's gun/missile/water sprayer/hand. Sometimes it's the right hand, sometimes it's the left hand, sometimes it's really just a hand… I eventually gave up and went with the two-handed version for simplicity.

x-xxx-x

Inferno smiled, feeling Red Alert shift beside him, curling into his side. He trailed one hand up Red Alert's back, fingers rubbing teasingly along the seams. Red Alert's hand slid down his side to brush against Inferno's leg armor.

Inferno let out an appreciative noise, then sighed. "I need to get up," he murmured regretfully.

Red Alert's optics narrowed. "What exactly is so important?"

"I promised Jazz and them that I'd go with them tonight-" Inferno started.

"And you'd rather spend the night carousing with them than here with me."

Inferno winced at the tone. "Aw, come on Red, it ain't like that. You know I love you."

"Don't 'come on Red' me," Red Alert grumbled. He rolled onto his back and glared at the ceiling. "Fine."

"You'll have to get off my arm, love," Inferno said with a disarming grin. The grin melted into a fond smile as he watched Red roll over to let Inferno up, still grumbling to himself.

There was two suspicious clicks as Red Alert sat up, freeing Inferno's arm.

But not his wrist. Inferno stared in disbelief at the cuff securing him to the berth, yanking experimentally. "Red!" He grabbed the cuff with his other hand trying to work it off his wrist.

Red Alert pounced on the opportunity, catching Inferno's free hand and securing it as well.

"Red! What in the blazes are you doing?"

Red Alert didn't answer, eyeing the restraints with a clinical optic. Satisfied that they would hold, he crawled back to Inferno and straddled him with a smirk.

"This ain't funny, Red. I really-" Inferno cut off with a startled noise.

Red Alert glanced up from where he'd been working his fingers under Inferno's armor. "Yes, Inferno? Did you want to say something?" His fingers twitched, brushing against certain sensitive wires.

Inferno moaned. "…No," he finally managed.

Red Alert smirked. "Good," he purred.

x-x-x

"Hey, Inferno!" Jazz called across the common room when the fire engine finally stumbled in the next morning. "Ya missed out on a great party!"

"Yeah, where were you, man?" Blaster pulled out a chair.

"Sorry," Inferno said sheepishly. "I was ambushed and chained to a bed by a hot set of wheels who wanted to spend the night ravishing me."

The group clustered around the table laughed.

"Naw, really." Jazz chuckled.

Inferno sat down, grinning. "Red wanted me to stay."

"Up all night with our resident walking nervous breakdown?" Blaster asked sympathetically. "I can think of better ways to spend a night."

"I can think of worse," Inferno replied dryly.


	3. Happy

Red Alert leaned back in his chair, optics on the monitors. The screens flipped from empty hallway to moonlit exterior and back, panning over nearly every surface of the Ark and its surrounding countryside. One screen, however, remained fixed.

Laughing Autobots filled this screen, crowding the common room and celebrating. What exactly they were celebrating, Red Alert wasn't sure. Being alive, perhaps.

Red Alert smiled as he watched some of the younger Autobots jostle and poke each other. They might not realize it, but he cared deeply for every one of them. He enjoyed seeing them happy and healthy.

What they didn't understand was that seeing them healthy took precedence over seeing them happy. It caused a lot of friction between him and the rest of the Autobots. They didn't want to think about Decepticons in their off hours, or consider how much danger their new friends among the humans could be. They saw Red Alert's constant vigilance as nothing more than obsessive paranoia.

Except one, he thought fondly, his smile softening as he watched Inferno duck out of the common room. The fire engine waved over his shoulder, laughing at some comment Jazz shouted at his back.

The cameras followed the grinning Inferno up the hallway. One of the best parts of Red Alert's job was being able to find his Inferno on the screens, whether it was to see what he was doing, reassure himself that Inferno was alright, or just to spend a few minutes watching him.

"How're things goin' up here?" Inferno stuck his head into the security center.

"They're going," Red Alert replied noncommittally.

Inferno crossed the room in two strides, wrapping his arms around Red Alert from behind. "Havin' fun?" he asked.

"Mm."

"Y'know, you coulda had someone else up here, if you wanted to join us," Inferno commented, glancing at the party still visible on one screen.

"Whoever I would have had watching the monitors is having more fun down there than I would. Besides, I would have spent the entire night wondering if they were actually paying attention to the monitors," Red Alert said dryly.

"Aw, Red, that's so sweet," Inferno teased.

"Oh, be quiet. I'm trying to work," Red Alert mock-grumbled, leaning back into Inferno's arms with a contented little half-smile.


	4. Angsty

A/N – I kept trying to write a totally different scene for "Angsty," but the Auto-Berserk plot bunnies kept attacking. Obviously they're Decepticon plot bunnies in disguise, sent by Megatron to spy on Red Alert!

x-xxx-x

_What am I doing?_ Red Alert shook his head, trying to work through the confused haze that was drowning his thoughts. His vision wavered; Starscream's snarling face suddenly snapping back into focus.

_What am I doing?! What is he saying – I wouldn't – I didn't- Primus, what have I done?!_

He couldn't look up. The Autobots were right there. He could feel Inferno's gaze, imploring, accusing…

Red Alert stared down the barrel of Megatron's fusion cannon, fighting down another wave of hysteria. _All my fault. This is all my fault! I have to fix this, before everyone pays for my mistakes!_ He stumbled away from Starscream, crawling into the cockpit of the Negavator. _I have to fix this…_ He stared at the controls, a plan forming.

Below him, Megatron opened his mouth to mock Optimus Prime one last time. Starscream cut him off, staring at Red Alert in consternation. "Hey, he's messing with the controls!"

_I won't let you hurt them, Megatron, even if it means dying myself_. "The Negavator is set to self-destruct." His optics were on the Decepticons, but his warning was for the Autobots. _Please, just run,_ Red Alert begged them silently. _Save yourselves._

The explosion, when it came seconds later, threw him off his feet. He lay there for a long moment, too stunned to move.

The bunker was burning. The fire hadn't reached him yet, but the heat was intense. Red Alert tried to lever himself to his feet, only to fall back as pain shot through his back and legs.

He bit back a cry of pain. There was too much smoke; he couldn't see if the others had made it out of not. _They made it. They have to have. I saw them scatter – Inferno, please be alright! I never meant to hurt you…_

The pain in his head and legs made it hard to focus. It was getting hotter, and the building creaking ominously.

_I'm sorry, Inferno. I wish-_

"Red!" Inferno's voice rose over the roaring flames. "Red! Can you hear me?"

_No… Why do you have to be so brave?_

"Inferno-"

The fire truck charged through the smoke, heedless of the danger. "Red!"

"No, save yourself!"_I won't have you die for me!_ But Inferno ignored his entreaty, rushing to his side. "I don't deserve to be an Autobot!"_ Why can't he see that? Why is he risking his life for me? I don't even deserve to live!_ He couldn't bring himself to look Inferno in the optics.

Then the heavy pipes across the ceiling gave out with the sound of tearing metal. Red Alert flinched, bracing for the impact of several tons of hot metal.

The impact never came. Red Alert stared in amazement at Inferno as the fire truck crouched protectively over him, deflecting the heavy falling debris.

_Thank you, Inferno, for not giving up on me. For coming back for me, for caring…_ "Thanks," was all he managed to whisper, but Inferno's answering grin told him that the fire truck understood what he meant.

"What're friends for, Red?"


	5. On His Knees

A/N - Takes place directly after the events in Auto Berserk and Angsty. Strongly implied Red Alert/Starscream and dubious consent.

x-xxx-x

"Hey Red Alert?" Smokescreen jogged to catch up to the Security Director. "I just wanted to say that I'm here, if you need someone to talk to."

"Thank you, but no. I'm fine," came the clipped answer.

"Well, if not me, you could talk to Inferno." Smokescreen fell into step beside him. "I know he's worried about you and it really can help to open up to someone-"

Red Alert stopped short. "I'm_ fine_. I don't want to talk to you, Inferno, or Optimus slagging Prime himself. I don't _need _to open up to anyone!" Red Alert snapped with a glare.

_If you're fine, I'm a purple petro-rabbit,_ Smokescreen thought, watching Red Alert's retreating back. _But I really shouldn't be surprised. You've always been the kind that had to be coaxed into even the littlest admissions. But maybe Inferno will have better luck…_

x-x-x

Red Alert punched the access code to his quarters. A few seconds and he'd be safe in his own room, away from both the accusing optics and frustrating-but-well-meaning questions that had been following him ever since Ratchet let him out of the repair bay. The Autobots seemed split between waiting for him to betray them all to the Decepticons and waiting for him to have a meltdown in the hallway.

"Red?"

Red Alert groaned._Speaking of well-meaning irritants…_ He turned to look up at Inferno.

"Are you alright?" Inferno asked worriedly.

"I'm_ fine_," Red Alert growled, irrationally annoyed by his concern. "Would you people stop_ asking_ me that?" Inferno just looked at him, making a twinge of guilt go through Red Alert's spark.

"Prime wants to see you," Inferno said quietly after a moment.

Red Alert sighed, slumping against the doorframe. "Fine," he said tiredly, clearing the keypad. He trailed Inferno down the hallway.

Optimus was waiting for them in his office. He glanced up as they entered, setting aside his work. "Ah, Red. Please, sit."

Red Alert sat nervously in the indicated chair. Inferno patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. "I'll be outside," he murmured, leaving Optimus and Red Alert alone.

Optimus waited for the door to close behind Inferno before coming around the desk to sit opposite Red Alert with a somber look.

"We've been worried about you, Red."

"I gathered that," Red Alert muttered, fidgeting, his optics focused on the bottom of the desk.

Optimus leaned forward, hands clasped. "I know what happened to you is difficult for you to speak of, but I'm here for you, whenever you need anything. If you can't talk to me, then Inferno-"

Red Alert stared helplessly at him. _How can I even start to- I can't- What do I tell him about –_

_Fingertips brushed the edge of Red Alert's doors. "You trust me, don't you Red?"_

"_I… I don't know…" Red Alert stared at Starscream, trying desperately to focus through the blinding pain in his head. "Inferno…" Where was Inferno? Why wasn't he there? Inferno always knew what to do…_

"_Inferno betrayed you, remember? They all lied to you, Red. Everyone but me," Starscream murmured, lightly tracing the decals on his doors. "It's just you and I; you remember that, don't you?"_

"_Yes…" Inferno had abandoned him, hadn't he? It was just so hard to think and the way Starscream's thumb had slipped under his door to rub soothing little circles on the adding beneath felt so nice…_

_Starscream's smile was sharp and victorious. Red Alert didn't protest when the seeker's other hand slipped around to tease the seam on the back of his leg. He didn't even protest when Starscream shoved him up against the wall-_

"I can't," Red Alert whispered brokenly. "I- I can't tell Inferno what I…" he trailed off, shaking.

Optimus knelt in front of him, resting a comforting hand on his leg. "Red, listen to me. What happened was not your fault."

Red Alert opened his mouth to protest.

"No, Red," Optimus stopped him, gently but firmly. "No 'buts'. None of it was your fault."

Red Alert stared into his optics, searching for some hint of accusation, of blame… Finding nothing but compassion, Red Alert dropped his head with a small noise of distress.

Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. "It's going to be alright, Red. I've got you, and I'm not going to let anything hurt you." The promise, spoken with absolute conviction, broke down the last of Red Alert's resolve. He collapsed into the safety of Optimus' arms with a little sob, finally allowing himself to be comforted.


	6. On Vacation

A/N- And this is because my friend dared me to. Crossover with AVP, no real knowledge of Alien or Predator needed.

x-xxx-x

"This is a bad idea," Red Alert grumbled.

"Aw, it'll be fun, Red!" Inferno said cheerfully. "A bit of fresh air will do you wonders."

"I have work I could be doing. Every minute I'm out here is another thing that's not getting done. Not to mention everything that goes wrong or breaks while I'm gone," Red Alert continued. "I'm going to have to spend days making up for this little outing of yours."

"It's not that bad," Inferno protested. "And they'll radio if anything goes wrong."

Red Alert snorted. "Maybe. _If _ they don't' decide to fix it themselves, and mess it up more. Or worse, ignore it until the problem escalates." He twitched, imagining a veritable cascade of system failures. "… I think I'm going to radio headquarters, just to check."

"Oh, no you don't," Inferno said firmly. "This is a vacation. Red; that means relax, have fun, and _no security checks_."

"This is going to end badly," Red Alert muttered.

"Just relax, Red, and stop fretting. You'll have fun, I promise."

Red Alert subsided into grumbling.

x-x-x

"Ain't this pretty, Red?" Inferno sighed happily, leaning back on his elbows to look up at the stars.

Red Alert shifted, tugging a clump of dead grass out of a joint in his armor. "Oh, just lovely," he muttered sarcastically.

"Hound's right, you've got to get out here to really appreciate this world's beauty. The sounds, the smells…"

"The mud…"

"Aw, come on, it wasn't that bad," Inferno protested.

Red Alert stopped scraping mud off his legs long enough to glare at his friend. "Not that bad? I almost ripped out my undercarriage getting up here!" He worked a twig out of his knee joint. "Primus knows what it's going to be like trying to get off this matrix-forsaken mountainside."

Inferno chuckled. "It'll be fine, Red –" He broke off, frowning up at the stars. A bright light traced its way across the sky, growing brighter as it came closer. Inferno bounded to his feet. "Hey! Meteor!"

"Or an enemy spacecraft," Red Alert muttered, mostly just to spite Inferno.

They watched in burn a line in the sky overhead, falling in a deceptively graceful arc. It hit a few miles away with a resounding _whump_.

"Come on, let's go check it out!"

Red Alert shot Inferno a look. "And why would I want to go traipsing through the wilderness after a hunk of space rock?"

"Well, like you just said, it could be an enemy spacecraft." Inferno grinned, starting towards the crash site.

Trapped by his own pessimism, Red Alert could only grumble and follow.

x-x-x

_I can't believe it! It really was a ship!_ Inferno stared down at the crash site in disbelief. It wasn't a large ship by any measure; it would have easily fit in one of the Ark's holding bays. The spacecraft had landed badly, the hull tearing away form the frame in places and leaving gaping holes. The intact portions were smooth and curving, almost organic-looking, but with the familiar comforting sheen of metal.

"There's something alive inside," Red Alert muttered, trying to peer though the gaps without getting any closer. Belatedly, Inferno realized that Red Alert had his weapon out, and that it might be a good idea for him to do the same.

He motioned Red Alert to stay put and clambered down to the ship, stepping carefully up to the largest of the openings. He had to duck and twist sideways to fit through, scraping his paint on the broken metal.

The inside of the spacecraft was as trashed as the outside. A sparking console lit the interior in a fitful glow, and something luminescent and green was splattered across the floor and up the bulkhead.

Something moved in the shadows. Inferno eased closer, gun up, his headlights falling on a crumpled form, half-propped against a console.

The creature was in no condition to fight a petro-rabbit, much less an armed warrior. Green blood oozed out of a ragged wound in its abdomen. The creature had one fist pressed tightly against the wound in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding.

Lowering his weapon, Inferno stepped closer and knelt down by the injured creature_. It's not afraid of me,_ Inferno realized with surprise as it reached out with a shaky hand, dripping blood.

It said something, hissing and clicking in a language that Inferno didn't recognize.

"Just stay there," Inferno said soothingly, knowing that the creature probably didn't understand a word he was saying. "Everything's goin' to be alright…"

"Inferno! Behind you!"

Inferno spun around at Red Alert's shout, bringing his gun back up.

The dark shape that had been silently uncoiling from the shadows on the ceiling jerked around at the sound of Red Alert's voice, hissing. Both Autobots fired as it sprung for the Security Director. Red Alert winged it, tearing off one of the long curved claws. Inferno's shot caught it dead in the back.

The corpse hit the wall next to Red Alert, splattering alien blood over his side and leg.

"You okay, Red?" Inferno called.

"I'm fine," Red Alert answered distractedly, scanning the interior. "I – Ah!" He staggered, stumbling back through the hole in the ship. "Acid! The slagging thing bleeds acid!"

Inferno ducked through the opening and hesitated, staring in consternation as the blood splattered up Red Alert's side began eating through his armor. He recovered quickly, catching Red Alert and guiding him to the ground.

"I don't got anything to neutralize this, so I'm going to have to cut the affected parts out of your armor before it eats through anything important," Inferno said quietly. Red Alert just nodded, one hand finding and clinging to Inferno's leg.

Inferno worked as quickly as he could, trying to ignore the grimaces and pained noises that Red Alert couldn't quite hold back._ Most important systems first. Concentrate. Getting' upset ain't gonna help Red…_

"We need to call base," he said after a while. "Your leg's bad enough I don't want you trying to walk." Red Alert nodded in acknowledgement as Inferno tossed the last bit of damaged wiring aside. "You radio them, and I'll take a gander around, check on our injured friend and see if there's any more of them around," Inferno said, standing. "Are you gettin' anything on your scanners?"

"No, but I didn't detect the first one until it moved, either." Red Alert grunted, pulling himself into a sitting position. "Watch your back, Inferno."

It was a bit harder getting back into the ship, with having to dodge the pooled blood in the entranceway that was bubbling its way through the deck plating. Inferno managed to step around it and make his way over to the injured alien.

_Make that dead alien._ Inferno sighed. _Sorry, friend._

Red Alert was waiting for him when he exited. "They're calling Skyfire back, but it's going to be a while. He was off whale-watching or some nonsense like that," Red Alert grumbled. "Pull that thing out here so I can get a better look at it."

Inferno complied, grabbing the clawed creature by an unbloodied portion and hauling it out. "The other died," he said quietly, frowning as Red Alert hobbled over. "Didn't I just tell you not to walk on that leg?"

Red Alert ignored the rebuke, turning the creature's head up and examining it. "No obvious visual organs, but that could indicate it seeing by anything from echolocation to somehow detecting our spark energy."

"And there's more acid damage to the inside of the ship, beyond what this guy just bled on," Inferno told him grimly. "I don't see any other wounds on him, either."

Red Alert set the head back down. "So there's more of these things. Wonderful," he muttered sarcastically.

"The rest of the ship is clear of them," Inferno added, watching the surrounding trees. "So his buddy has got to be runnin' around loose."

"You're just overflowing with good news, aren't you?"

"Red, if that thing gets down to the human settlements…"

"The losses would be immense." Red Alert sighed. "And my leg's going to slow you down too much to catch it." He hesitated. "Be careful, alright?"

Inferno smiled, resting his hand briefly on his friend's shoulder. "Don't worry about me, Red. Just watch your own tail, and I'll be back before you know it."

Red Alert snorted. "I always worry about you," he murmured after Inferno left, circling around the crash in hopes of picking up the creature's trail.

He slumped against the side of the furrow dug by the fallen spacecraft, watching the woods closely. Time seemed to crawl by with unbearable slowness.

_There's another reason to hate this mountainside,_ Red Alert grouched to himself._Everything moves, rendering my motion sensors useless. Why would anyone in their right mind want to come here? Oh, right, it's Inferno. He's never been in his right mind…_

Something scraped against a rock. Red Alert froze, listening. For a moment, there was nothing except the sound of wind through the trees and a far-off jet engine.

Red Alert lunged to his feet just as the creature leapt for him with a hiss. It hit the spot he had been laying, sending up a cloud of dust. Red Alert scrambled back and fired, missing as it dodged.

It jumped of him again, claws slashing at his face. His injured leg giving out, Red Alert tumbled to the ground, the alien creature ripping at his armor.

_If I shoot him like this, the acid from his wounds will probably kill me_, Red Alert realized. He cried out as a claw caught under his armor and ripped through wiring. _But if I don't, I die anyway! _Red Alert shoved the barrel of his gun against the creature's chest, finger tightening on the trigger…

There was a blur of something white, and the creature went flying. Red Alert stared dazedly up at Skyfire as he took aim at where the creature was scrambling back to its feet and fired.

"Are you alright?" the scientist asked, concerned. He knelt down by Red Alert.

"Red!" Inferno skidded up. "Red, are you alright?"

"I'm just peachy," Red Alert grumbled, allowing them to help him up.

"I got the other one, but it didn't even occur to me that there might be three," Inferno said sheepishly.

"Let's get you both out of here. The others will be here soon to make sure there's nothing else dangerous and collect some samples," Skyfire told them, transforming and opening his cargo hatch. "Perceptor's already expressed an interest in the corpses. Oh, and Ratchet said to tell you that you're both, and I quote, 'slagging idiots.'"

Red Alert paused before ducking in. "I _told_ you it was a bad idea, Inferno."

Inferno looked chagrined. "Alright, alright… next time we'll just go to the beach."


	7. Exhausted

And the day had started out so _well..._

That should have been the first sign everything was going to go wrong, Red Alert reflected pessimistically.

"What in the Pit possessed you to think it was a good idea to spray-paint the cameras on level three?" he demanded.

Slingshot stared back defiantly. Air Raid tried to copy his expression, but he seemed to be having trouble not grinning.

"I'm waiting for an answer," Red Alert growled, glaring across his desk at the Aerialbots. "Did you or did you not paint over the lenses of eight cameras on level three?"

"Of course we did," Air Raid replied cheerfully. "Otherwise you'd know about the whole prank before it went off. And then how would we get Ironhide to walk into it?"

Slingshot glared at his gestalt-mate. "You aren't supposed to admit to it, idiot!"

Red Alert sighed. It was going to be a very long day.

It was with relief that he turned the two miscreants over to Prowl almost an hour later. He stalked back into the security center, scowling.

"Status?" he demanded.

"Everything is groovy, Red," Beachcomber told him calmly. "Nothing's going on. It's been down right relaxing in here since you left."

"For now. It never lasts." Red Alert settled into his chair. "We might as well take advantage of the lull to update the-"

The screen showing the outside of the control room fritzed and went to static.

"It's just not a day to be a camera, is it?" Beachcomber noted.

"Watch the monitors. I'll go see to it." Red Alert levered himself to his feet.

"Right-o," Beachcomber sing-songed cheerfully.

_What is this, drive Red Alert crazy by being obscenely cheerful day? _It was a short walk to the control room, and Red Alert set to work dismantling the camera. _Ah-ha! Here we go..._ He carefully fixed a loose wire, snapping the cover closed.

"Red!" Jazz called out cheerfully. "How's your day going?" he asked, jogging up.

"Badly," Red Alert muttered.

"Aw, it can't be that bad." Jazz patted him on the back, grinning. "Nothing's exploded, has it?"

"Not yet."

Jazz just laughed, clapping him on the shoulder and continuing down the hallway.

Red Alert ripped the sign off his back. "I lick cameras?" he read before wadding it up with a growl. He stalked back towards the security center, glaring over his shoulder after Jazz.

That was why he didn't notice the door beside him opening until Trailbreaker rushed out, plowing into him and sending them both crashing to the floor. "Sorry!" The big black mech scrambled to his feet. "Really really sorry, Red, but I've got to run!" Trailbreaker took off, an irate Hound bounding over Red Alert and giving chase.

Red Alert's head thumped back to the floor. "Why did I join this zoo again?"

x-x-x

Inferno meandered down the hall, humming to himself. _I wonder what the odds are of convincin' Red to skip work early,_ he mused. _Maybe-_

A sudden thump startled him out of his thoughts.

"Slag it _all!_" Red Alert stormed into the hallway, almost running into Inferno. He glared up at his friend, yanking what looked suspiciously like silly string off one of his tires.

"You okay, Red?" Inferno asked, bemused.

"No, I am _not_ alright. I'm having a very _very _bad day, and I'd like for it to end now."

"Uh..." Inferno paused, taken aback.

"In fact, I insist we skip the rest of it and get straight to the part where you take me back to my quarters," he continued, ignoring Inferno's interruption.

Inferno gaped for a moment. A slow smile spread across his face. "Your wish is my command, Red."

Thoughtfully, Red Alert looked up at Inferno. "If that's the case, I've got a few more for you, too."

Grinning, Inferno allowed himself to be dragged away.


	8. Dominant

A/N – Set on Cybertron, early season two. Claimed by ravynfyre over on LJ

x-xxx-x

The building shuddered under another round of cluster bombs.

"How did they find us?" Red Alert worked quickly, fingers flying over the keyboard. "How could they have known?"

"One thing at a time, Red," cautioned Inferno. "We can figure that out later. Right now we need to get these computers wiped and get out of here."

"I'm working as fast as I can," Red Alert muttered.

The base shook with another explosion, resounding from somewhere deep in the complex. "Could you work just a teensy bit faster?" Inferno gave the ceiling a pensive look. "The infrastructure ain't gonna hold much longer."

"Can't rush perfection, Inferno. Besides, need I remind you what could happen if Shockwave got a hold of even a fraction of the data in our systems?"

"He'd have to hold it one-handed?" Inferno offered with a cheeky grin.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Red Alert shot his friend a half-hearted glare. "There. Done. My little virus will take care of anything left over."

"Good. Let's get out of here before this whole place lands on our heads." Inferno started for the exit, Red Alert right on his heels. "We'll have to take tunnel six; the Decepticons already found one and five."

Red Alert nodded. "Did Elita's group make it through?" Elita and the command staff had left the command center when the bombing started. They were supposed to exit through tunnel one, and meet up with the rest of the Autobot cell at the rendezvous point.

Another wave of bombs shook the entire building, staggering the Autobots. "Don't know, Red. I hope-" The ceiling gave way with the squeal of rending metal.

A heavy beam knocked Red Alert off his feet. Debris fell around him, blocking his view and burying him in rubble. He batted chunks of sheet metal and building materials off his face and shoved the beam to the side. "Inferno!"

Something shifted off to the side, accompanied by a groan. Red Alert scrambled towards Inferno, desperately digging through the debris. "Inferno, are you alright?"

"I can't move my arm." Inferno shifted, then fell back with a hiss of pain. "I think it's trapped."

Red Alter flung aside a chunk of sheet metal. Inferno was laying up against a canted slab of what appeared to be most of the ceiling and a good chunk of the floor of the level above. And Inferno's right arm was pinned underneath.

"Hang on, Inferno." Setting his shoulder against the slab, Red Alert put all his weight into trying to shift the massive chunk of rubble.

It didn't even budge.

"Just go, Red. Get out of here before the entire building collapses," Inferno urged him.

"I'm not leaving without you." Red Alert cast about for something to use as leverage. There... He hefted a chunk of beam. He wiggled it into position. "You're going to have to pull yourself out from under when I lift it." He waited for Inferno's nod of acknowledgment, and heaved.

The slab started to lift, raising a tiny bit off Inferno's arm. Then the entire thing shifted, slipping off Red Alert's makeshift lever and coming back down on Inferno's arm.

Inferno cried out in pain, jerking involuntarily.

"Shh... easy, Inferno," Red Alert murmured, dropping to his knees and catching Inferno's free hand tightly. "I'm sorry."

"You need to leave," Inferno croaked when he could speak again.

"I'm not going anywhere." Red Alert stood again, expression determined.

"Slag it, Red! You can't move that thing, and even if you did, shiftin' it is gonna bring down the entire place down on top of us!" He lowered his voice, looking up at his friend with a resigned expression. "You have to leave, Red. There ain't nothing you can do here. You have to save yourself."

"I think you've forgotten who ranks who, Inferno. I don't take orders from you," Red Alert told him flatly. "Now shut up, I'm trying to think." He glanced back over his shoulder thoughtfully. "There's a medkit in the control room."

"Red..." Inferno started, but the security expert had already vanished into the control room.

He emerged moments later, rifling through a medical kit.

"Red. You don't have time for this. You have to get out before this entire place falls in. There's no point in-"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Red Alert found what he was looking for. "I can't move the wreckage, and I can't move you while your arm's under the wreckage... which leaves one solution." He straddled Inferno's chest, holding up a laser scalpel.

Realization dawned in Inferno's optics. He nodded.

Red Alert leaned his weight on Inferno's trapped shoulder. Looking Inferno in the optics, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Inferno."

"Just do it," Inferno said, bracing himself. He tried not to cry out as the scalpel bit into his arm.

x-x-x

"Red! Inferno!" Hoist jumped to his feet as they staggered in, Red Alert supporting most of Inferno's weight. "We thought you two were caught in the collapse! Inferno, what happened to your hand?"

"We were, and a word of advice: never let Red play with scalpels," Inferno answered back with a tight grin.

"Is this everyone?" Red Alert asked, helping Inferno to a crate. He scanned the room, taking in the exhausted mechs. There was pitifully few, and most were injured in one way or another. "Has anyone heard from Elita?"

Grapple shook his head. "Not a word, Red."

"She must have been caught when they collapsed the tunnel," a tired voice spoke up. Tracks looked up dully. "We were right behind her group, and we barely got out of there alive."

"I don't have the materials to fabricate a new hand," Hoist told Inferno quietly. "Even if I did, I doubt my skills would be sufficient to fully repair this."

"Right now, I'd be happy with just enough to hold a gun," Inferno said grimly.

"Hm. Well, the cuts are clean enough. I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises." Hoist frowned thoughtfully to himself.

Inferno glanced up. "Red, you're hoverin'."

"Am not," Red Alert snapped defensively, taking a self-conscious step away. "I was... why isn't there a security perimeter?" Red Alert demanded, changing the subject and avoiding Inferno's knowing grin.

"Give up, Red." Tracks slumped back against the wall. "It doesn't matter if we've got a security perimeter or not; they'll find us just like they did the last time, and the time before that. Elita is dead, Alpha Trion is missing, and if Optimus Prime is even alive, he's trapped on some Matrix-forsaken planet by Megatron."

"I will not give up," Red Alert said coolly. "Because I am an_Autobot,_ and I will not just_ let _the Decepticons win. If I die, I will die knowing that I fought them until the very end. I will _keep_fighting until I have nothing left to fight with." He glared around the room. "And if any of you remember what it is to be an Autobot, you will too." He let that sink in. "Now, I want two people on guard. Everyone else, rest and perform what repairs you can. We're going to need every bit of strength we can muster."

"For what?" Tracks asked, optics wide.

"If Optimus Prime can't come to us, we'll go to him." Red Alert smiled humorlessly. "We're going to take the space bridge."

x-xxx-x

A/N – Because dominant!Red is just so much fun. :D


	9. At the Beach

A/N- This one's a tad smutty, as a warning. Claimed by xaefryl over on LJ

x-xxx-x

It was a beautiful day, Inferno reflected. The sun was shining off the water, the waves were washing over the jagged rocks so common to the Oregon coast. High cliffs framed this secluded cove, leading down to a small beach cut off from the outside world. It was utterly romantic. It was...

"... Completely unsecured," Red Alert was complaining

Inferno sighed.

"I can see at least three different ways to sneak up on this place from here," Red Alert continued. "Not to mention the fact that the ocean side is completely without cover-"

"Red," Inferno interrupted. "No one knows we're here. They can't sneak up on us if they don't know we're here to sneak up on."

Red Alert glared. "All it takes is one seeker overhead. Need I remind you that neither of our paint jobs are exactly inconspicuous?"

"It's a beautiful day out, Red! The sun is out, the sky is finally clear, and we're alone, with just sand and surf..." Inferno tried, spreading his arms.

"And any spies who happen to notice the fire truck and the _Lamborghini _heading out of town, _away_ from any emergencies." Red Alert turned away, crossing his arms and glaring up at the cliff sides.

Inferno heaved another sigh.

"How 'bout a compromise?" Inferno offered after a moment, a sly smile making its way across his face.

"Like what?" Red Alert didn't take his optics off the cliff top.

"Like..." Inferno stepped up behind Red Alert, wrapping his arms around the security director's middle. "You keep watch," he purred. "I'll take care of the rest."

"Inferno! What do yo think you're doing?"

"Optics forward, Red," Inferno murmured, fingertips tracing circles across Red's hips. "Just relax."

"How am I supposed to relax when you're-" His voice cut out as Inferno's hand slid across his hip, slipping between his legs.

The barrel of Inferno's gun-arm tapped the side of his chin, turning his face back towards the cliff. "No movin'."

"I-" Red Alert choked. He shuddered, Infernos grip tightening, scraping up the inside of his leg.

"No talkin', either." Inferno covered Red Alert's mouth. "Have to keep your audios open, Red. No tellin' what's sneaking' up out of sight," he whispered.

Red Alert let out a muffled whine, half barely-smothered anxiety and half in need. The barrel against his jaw slid down, caressing that ever-so-sensitive seam just below.

"Inferno..."

"Shh..." Inferno's hand traced its way up to brush across the decals emblazoned across Red Alert's chest. The security director moaned, letting Inferno guide them both to the sand.

It was sometime later, when Red Alert was lying curled against Inferno's side, that either spoke again.

"Inferno?" Red Alert murmured, not lifting his head from where it was pillowed on Inferno's arm.

"Yeah?" Inferno shifted his arm enough to stroke Red Alert's back.

"This beach really is unsecured," Red Alert said quietly, valiantly resisting the urge to snuggle closer.

A deep chuckle rumbled through Inferno's frame. "I suppose we can go back," he said with a grin.

"Good. I need a bath. I have sand _everywhere._"

The complaint made Inferno laugh outright. After all, beaches were nice, but there was something to be said about showers...


	10. Drinking Energon

A/N- It's clear from the city of Yuss in canon that some neutral cities managed to stay out of the fighting and remain relatively untouched for most of the war. Red Alert's home city was not one of those.

x-xx-x

The room was lit only by a single lamp on the desk, shadows throwing everything into sharp contrast. The computer monitor sat blank and silent next to a neat stack of papers.

Red Alert toyed with the container of energon in his hands.

_Three days._ Inferno had been gone just three days, out on a mission for Optimus Prime, doing what he did best.

Red Alert hadn't recharged in three days. He spent his off hours curled tightly on his bunk, trying desperately to not give in to the insistent feeling that he'd forgotten _something_, that they were _right there_, waiting on the other side of the door….

Hastily, he downed the high-grade. Normally he avoided touching the stuff, but when the choice was stumbling around in an over-energized fog or drowning in his own anxiety, he'd take the energon.

Going to Ratchet for a sedative was an option he'd considered and rejected immediately. The others already looked at him like he was going to snap; he didn't need to let them know how close he actually was.

He slumped onto his berth, curling up on his side and waiting for the high grade to do its work

Slowly, he slipped into recharge, and dreamt.

And remembered.

x-x-x

The building shuddered.

"What was that?" Rollbar demanded.

Red Alert shook his head. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out." He set his energon on the table and activated his radio. "Red Alert to Tower. Is there an emergency?" The security channel hissed static. He tried again. "Tower, what's going on? Was there an accident?"

"Pipeline explode?"

"I don't know," Red Alert said distractedly as another voice came over the radio, demanding to know what happened. "I'm going to head in and find out."

He didn't have to go far. The smoke was clearly visible from the doorway, rising over the buildings and covering the sky in a smothering blanket.

"What-" Rollbar started, following Red Alert out.

A high-pitched whine filled the air, coming closer.

"Missile!" Red Alert hit the ground, covering his head.

Another explosion rocked the street, raining debris everywhere. Red Alert lifted his head, peering through the smoke and dust. The building across the street was half-gone, its entire front blown away in the explosion.

"We're under attack," Red Alert muttered in disbelief. He turned back to his friend. "We've got get out of here, find the others and regroup..." Rollbar didn't answer. A shaft the length of Red Alert's arm was embedded in his chest. "Rollbar?"

"He's dead! Leave him!" A hand latched onto Red Alert's shoulder, dragging him away. Red Alert stared up at the old guard without comprehension. Hangtime shoved him around the corner into an alleyway, giving a hasty glance over his shoulder.

"What's going on?" Red Alert looked up at Hangtime desperately.

"Decepticons," Hangtime said shortly, herding the younger security officer down the alleyway.

"But... why didn't we see them coming? Our defenses should have detected their approach in time to give us some warning-"

"The scanners didn't pick up anything because _we_let them in," Hangtime growled. He huffed at Red Alert's uncomprehending expression. "The refugees, Red. They were Decepticon soldiers."

A scream rose in the distance, then was suddenly cut off. Red Alert shuddered. "Why?" he asked hollowly.

Cold laughter forestalled Hangtime's reply. "Because we wanted to," answered the Decepticon, stepping out to block the alley.

Hangtime shoved Red Alert back. "Run!" The old guard raised his weapon, firing on the Decepticon. "Go, Red!"

He ran. At the entrance to the alleyway, Red Alert turned back for just a moment, to see his old mentor lying at the Decepticon's feet, a ragged hole ripped through his chest.

Sadistic laughter followed him as he turned and fled.

x-x-x

Red Alert flattened against the wall as a tank creaked by outside. He was close enough he could see the sharp indents of the tank's brand.

_Decepticons._ It didn't seem real – there'd been no warning, no _reason_... His city had nothing they wanted, no strategic value at all. The city was officially neutral, and the city's leaders had been doing their best to avoid raising the ire of either side. The only contact they had with the war was refugees, and anyone displaying faction colors had been handed supplies and sent away at the gates.

At least the screaming had stopped.

He had to keep moving.

x-x-x

"Slag, the 'Cons sure did a number on this place," Inferno commented, eying the rubble that had once been the city's main gates.

Beside him, Firestar nodded. "I can't see any real value in holding this place, so there's not likely to be too many Decepticons hanging around." She gave her partner a steady look. "That's not an excuse to pull anything reckless, Inferno."

"Who, me?" Inferno asked innocently.

"Hmph. Yes, you. I've been your partner for too long to fall for that. Anyway, keep your optics on, there's no telling whether any of them stuck around."

Inferno waved off her concern. "Let's start at the main gates and work our way inward. That'll give us a straight shot to move out any survivors we might find."

Firestar gave a short nod of acknowledgment, and they moved out.

x-x-x

Gravel crunched. Red Alert froze, listening. _Decepticons_.

There was no one else _for_ it to be. Everyone else was dead. For a while, there'd been the occasional sound of weapons fire, but it had been silent for a while now.

He wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been hiding in the rubble. His chronometer worked fine, but the display just showed incomprehensible numbers that no longer had any meaning or context.

Metal scraped against metal. _Outside._ Red Alert gripped his gun in a shaking hand and eased towards the gaping hole in one wall. _I can't do this anymore. I can't keep hiding forever... _ He paused, gathering himself. _If I go out there, they'll kill me. But is staying here, waiting to collapse from energy depletion really any better?_

Decision made, Red Alert crossed the room in two quick steps, raising his weapon.

x-x-x

Inferno sighed, stepping away from yet another half-collapsed building holding nothing but corpses. He was beginning to think that there wasn't anything left in this city to save. _Primus – thousands dead, murdered, and for what? _He paused over a mutilated corpse, giving it a mournful look. _I'm sorry, friend – this war had nothin' to do with you or yours. And I'm sorry we couldn't protect you._

"Don't move, Autobot." A gun barrel pressed against his back. Behind him, the Decepticon laughed, cold and sadistic. "Enjoying your stay? As you can see, we've made some improvements around town."

Inferno's grip on his rifle tightened.

"Oh, no, none of _that_. Drop the gun, Autobot."

Inferno readied himself. If he turned to fire, the Decepticon would shoot him – but the Decepticon was going to shoot him anyway. At least this way he had a chance of taking the arrogant slagger with him.

He spun, bracing himself for pain. There was the _snap_ of a particle beam rifle. Inferno flinched.

The Decepticon slumped to the ground, a good chunk of his head missing. Inferno stared at the body for a split second, then cast about for his rescuer, expecting to see Firestar giving him that exasperated look. His partner was nowhere to be seen – but someone else was, standing in the shadow of a bombed-out building, holding a gun in a shaking hand.

_Huh. Well, at least he can shoot, _Inferno thought incongruously. The mech wasn't displaying faction symbols – A neutral, probably a survivor of the Decepticons' attack. Hastily, Inferno holstered his gun, stepping forward with hands open and empty. The rifle barrel snapped up to point directly at his face.

"Easy there," Inferno said soothingly, taking a slow step closer. "I ain't gonna hurt ya." The barrel wavered slightly.

_Shellshock,_Inferno thought, taking in the wide and frightened optics that were staring at him without any sign of understanding. He seemed to be listening to the tone if not the words, though... the gun barrel slowly drifted out of line as Inferno stepped closer, speaking quietly as he did. Reaching up, Inferno pushed the gun away with a gentle hand.

Shivering, the neutral looked up at Inferno for a moment. Then the gun clattered to the ground as he collapsed with a distraught whine.

Inferno caught the smaller mech before he hit the ground. "It's okay," he whispered, gathering him up, "I've got you. Jus' trust me..."

x-x-x

A familiar weight settled behind Red Alert, strong arms wrapping him in a comforting embrace.

"It's alright, Red," Inferno murmured, pulling him close "I've got you, and I ain't lettin' go."

Red Alert relaxed into the safety of Inferno's arms, drifting into a dreamless recharge.


	11. Playing with Kids

"Hey Red! What's shakin'?" Air Raid called, leaning his chair back and grinning.

Red Alert stopped, turning to look at Air Raid wordlessly.

"How'd your weekend go? Have fun at the beach?" Air Raid continued when he didn't respond. "Heard you had a bit of a problem in with the washrack."

Red Alert stared at him in silence for a long moment. "I already knew it was you that put the paint in the dispensers, Air Raid. I know everything you do."

Air Raid's grin slipped slightly. "Uh..."

Stepping closer, Red Alert lowered his voice. "They told me it was you. They told me where you got it from, too."

"Who did? The little invisible men?" Air Raid kept up the bravado, but he leaned away instinctively.

The Security Director leaned towards him, a odd half-smile spreading across his face. "The voices tell me a lot of things, Air Raid. Like how you snuck it out of the medbay supply room while Ratchet was busy threatening Sideswipe."

Air Raid stared.

"They told me about what you did last night, too," Red Alert whispered hoarsely.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did. They saw you in the control room with Slingshot, and they told me..."

Air Raid's optics were wide. "But... you weren't... I..."

"I told you, the voices tell me everything." The odd smile vanished, and Red Alert stared hard at Air Raid. "_Everything._"

His mouth worked, but no sound came out. "I've got to go," Air Raid managed to squeak finally, scrambling to his feet. He almost bowled over an indignant Slingshot as he fled out the door.

Someone snickered as Red Alert straightened, taking a drink of his energon and calmly walking to his table.

"Enjoying yourself?" Prowl asked wryly as Red Alert settled into the seat across from him.

"Maybe a little," Red Alert admitted, eying the chessboard between them. "But I bet he behaves himself on monitor duty from now on. There's only one question now."

"What's that?" Prowl looked up curiously, fingertips on a chess piece.

"How long it'll take him to realize that I really just record all the security footage, and that if he doesn't want me to know something, he shouldn't do it directly in front of a camera."


	12. Well Shagged

A/N – For some reason, Red Alert's head injury in Auto-Berserk kept making me think of the mother of all migraines. Add that to Red Alert's insanely sharp hearing and long-range sensors, and I can't help but wince. Set right after the warehouse scene in Auto-Berserk. Claimed by cianel over on LJ

x-x-x

It was something to focus on in the fog clouding his thoughts, something cool and steady as the rest of his senses sparked and crackled. Sleek lines, sharp red and bright white, standing out against the gloom. It was just easier to look at him than to try to make sense of the rest of the world.

So when Starscream pushed him up against the wall, Red Alert didn't protest. He clung to the jet, letting Starscream's fingertips explore their way across his doors. The sensation was almost enough for him to forget everything that had gone wrong today...

A flash of pain broke the spell as his sensor net malfunctioned again. Red Alert jerked back, his fingers digging painfully into Starscream's arms. "Ahh..."

Starscream winced, but didn't complain, holding Red as the spasm passed without comment. "Red," he murmured when the Autobot slumped against him. "Look at me." He gently turned Red Alert's face towards his. "Turn it off."

"What-" Red Alert started, gaping.

"Your sensory net. Turn it off," Starscream clarified.

"But-"

"You trust me, don't you, Red?" Starscream coaxed. "It's just you and me, remember?"

"Yes, but-" Red Alert's voice shook.

"Shh. Offline your optics." Starscream's thumb kept stroking his face comfortingly.

Hesitantly, Red Alert obeyed, his cooling fans picking up speed and betraying his anxiety. Hands ghosted down his sides, stroking and teasing across whatever caught Starscream's fancy. Slowly, Red Alert reached up, running an uncertain hand up Starscream's chest, feeling the seeker chuckle.

"Now the radar."

Red Alert's fans hitched. "But-"

"You don't need it, Red. We're partners; I'll look out for you."

He could trust Starscream, right? Slowly, feeling unsure about the whole situation, Red Alert pulled down his long-range sensors, feeling more helpless than he had in years.

Starscream slid his hands around to grip Red Alert's hips, pulling the blinded Security Director close. "And your audio receptors," he whispered.

"What?" Red Alert tensed again. "But-"

"Can you say anything except 'but?'" Starscream asked in amusement. "Turn off your audios, and just trust me," he coaxed.

Shivering against Starscream, Red Alert complied, stifling the wave of panic that came with being totally blind and deaf. The only time his sensor net was off was when he was _unconscious_.

_Get a hold of yourself,_ he thought with a flash of anger. _You're acting like a frightened petro-rabbit._

And Starscream's hands hadn't stopped their explorations, either. Without the massive input of information coming through his damaged sensor net, there was nothing to distract him from the sensations Starscream was causing. Red Alert moaned, his shiver of anxiety turning into a shudder of pleasure as Starscream found that ever-sensitive spot just under his hood. He could feel Starscream speaking against his neck, but couldn't bring himself to wonder what the jet had said.

Starscream's turbine blades were turning, he realized, feeling the vibrations running up his legs. The jet pushed him to the warehouse floor, cold concrete contrasting with the heat building in his frame. He could feel his engine rumbling in a counterpoint to Starscream's, catching as Starscream worked his fingers into his grill.

Then Starscream brushed his engine block, and Red Alert wasn't aware of anything else at all.


	13. Jealous

A/N- Jealous Red Alert, with Firestar. Claimed by wilderness on LJ.

x-xxx-x

Red Alert glared over his shoulder. "Would you just go away and stop looming? I'm trying to work!" He slammed the security panel shut and stalked off.

Inferno sighed and let him go.

"Red got his turbocharger in a knot?" Ironhide asked, coming up behind Inferno.

Inferno turned to give the older mech a wry look. "He's a bit upset with me right now."

"That's the understatement of the week, ain't it?" Ironhide shook his head. "What's got him in a tiff today?"

Heaving another sigh, Inferno turned to look down the way Red Alert had disappeared. "Firestar," was all he had to say. Ironhide winced and gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm.

x-x-x

Optimus Prime had wanted the entire command staff there to greet Elita-1 and her team, but Red Alert had refused to go, citing a list of security concerns until Optimus gave in.

The Autobot leader had sighed and shook his head, but in the end, he let Red Alert stay in his security center. The disappointment and thinly-veiled annoyance in his optics made Red Alert cringe inside, but it wasn't enough to guilt him into attending.

So now Red Alert was hunched over his computer, the image displayed flipping restlessly from camera to camera. Contrary to popular opinion, the order was neither random nor arbitrary; the program shuffling the images was set to a search pattern designed to minimize the possibility of a person making their way through the city without being caught on the live cameras, even if they had prior knowledge of the order the cameras displayed in. Other screens showed static images, dedicated to the cameras situated in the high-risk areas. Red Alert gave them no more than the occasional glance, focusing on the one in front of him.

West side, outermost corridor. Outside the repair bay, the main corridor, store room three.

Entrance. He tapped a button, pausing the sequence.

He could see Inferno, standing behind Optimus Prime with his back to the camera, watching the shuttle descend and fairly bouncing in place in excitement. The shuttle settled with ponderous grace on Autobot City's main landing pad.

Slumping back in his chair, Red Alert rubbed his face tiredly. _ It doesn't mean anything_, he told himself sternly. _They're friends. It's not any different than all those years we were stationed together on Cybertron._

But it _was_ different. They'd been fighting for their lives on Cybertron. When every day, every minute, could be the last, things that were once important seemed incredibly petty. But here on Earth, they weren't spending their days hiding in a hole from Shockwave's drones, and all those petty concerns were suddenly important again.

On Cybertron it had been easy to take Firestar's presence for granted. She was always just there, working alongside Inferno on countless missions, watching his back and making sure that Inferno made it back to Red Alert. It wasn't until a Decepticon attack divided the Autobot forces and had to all appearances claimed Firestar's life that they had realized how much she had meant to both of them.

Firestar's apparent death had torn Inferno up, and Red Alert had stayed by his side as he grieved the loss of his oldest friend, confessing guilt and regret that he'd never told Firestar just how much she meant to him. Now he'd been given a second chance.

And Red Alert was terrified.

_Nothing's changed. They're friends. He still loves me,_ Red Alert told himself, desperation tinging his thoughts. The mantra didn't help.

Red Alert knew exactly how difficult he was to live with. High maintenance, that was what Spike had called it when he thought Red Alert couldn't hear. The expression was fitting. And after the... _incident_... with Starscream, Red Alert wasn't sure why Inferno stuck around. But he did.

But now that Firestar, beautiful, competent, _sane_ Firestar, was here, how could he? Red Alert stared at the screen miserably. Inferno deserved better. He deserved someone who could stand by him on a battlefield without flinching, someone who would laugh and joke with him. Not someone whose reputation was most noted for his spats of irrational paranoia.

_Or who indulges in jealous fits when he meets up with an old friend_, Red Alert admitted, sinking in his seat. He wasn't being fair to either of them. After all, his issues weren't Firestar's fault, and she didn't deserve to be snubbed just because Red Alert was having problems.

_But he's mine!_ It sounded pathetic, even in his head, but he couldn't help it. _She could have anyone – she's so intelligent, so skilled, so beautiful... I can't blame Inferno. But that doesn't mean I want to give him up._

He watched the screens blankly, but no solution came to him.

x-x-x

"Red!" Inferno waved as the Security Director slunk into the rec room later. "Sit! Take this, I'm gonna get more drinks," he said a bit too loudly to be sober, shoving a cube of high-grade into Red Alert's hands and pushing him into a chair.

Slouching in his chair, Red Alert watched him go. Beside him, Firestar propped her elbows on the table, smiling in a way that told Red Alert that she was a bit inebriated herself.

"One of these days, I'm going to find someone whose optics light up for me like his do when you walk in the room," she said, watching Inferno weave through the crowd.

Red Alert choked on his energon. "What?"

Firestar spared him a look and chuckled. "You know, Red, for a mech with as sharp of sensors as you have, you can be incredibly blind sometimes."

Red Alert stared at her, unable to form a response. Firestar just winked at him.

Inferno returned with the drinks a moment later, dropping into the chair next to Red Alert with a grin. "Nice to see you decided to come out of your hole, Red," he teased, handing his old partner a cube. He'd been honestly worried about Red Alert, and had been about ready to go drag him out of the security center by force when he'd finally shown up.

He draped a companionable arm around Red Alert's shoulders, smiling at the questioning look he got. But he could still see the uncertain glimmer of insecurity that Red Alert tried to hide. Inferno pulled him closer to murmur into his audio. "Red, I want you to listen to me very carefully, alright?" Red Alert's expression turned nervous. "The only way I'd crawl into Firestar's berth would be if you were strapped to it," Inferno told him, quietly but sincerely.

Red Alert froze up, looking torn between embarrassed and pleased. But slowly he relaxed under Inferno's arm.

A mischievous smirk played across Inferno's face. "Actually, that sounds kinda fun." He turned to the other occupant of the table, raising his voice "Hey Firestar! Would-"

"Inferno!" Red Alert yelped in mortification, sitting up and glaring.

Inferno just laughed, pulling Red Alert close again.


	14. Turned On

A/N- Turned On with Starscream, claimed by cianel on LJ.

x-x-x

_He shouldn't be beautiful, _Red Alert thought. _After everything he's done, everything he is..._

_But he's still beautiful._

Technically, he was off-duty. Blaster had opted to spend his shift watching the monitors from the control room, allowing Red Alert to spend the time updating the security system.

He should leave. He'd finished the maintenance over an hour ago. But the scene on the monitors was... mesmerizing.

Three seekers danced their way across the sky, rolling smoothly and chasing each other through the clouds. Sunlight glittered off silver and lit red with a glow that Red Alert had trouble taking his optics off.

_Starscream._ Wicked, vicious, _beautiful _Starscream.

Red Alert leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He should hate the seeker for what he'd done – and he did. He loathed the Decepticon and everything he stood for.

But sometimes, he wished he could just forget about the war, about duty and decency, and just have him, even if it was just a moment...

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" a voice rumbled behind him.

Mortified at being caught staring dreamily at Starscream, of all people, Red Alert sat up hastily, glancing back over his shoulder.

Skyfire leaned against the door jam, smiling sadly. "I shouldn't still love him, but it's hard not to sometimes."

Red Alert relaxed in his chair slowly, looking from Skyfire to the seekers on the screen. "Yes, it is," he agreed quietly. They watched the seekers in silence for a long moment.

Eventually, Red Alert shook his head, and pushed himself to his feet. "Come on," he murmured, touching Skyfire's arm. "You look like you need a drink as badly as I do."

Skyfire nodded, giving the seekers on the screen one last long look as he followed Red Alert out.

Left alone in the security center, the seekers' images danced their way across the evening sky.


	15. Disheveled

A/N - Disheveled, with a side of smug!Inferno, claimed by xaefryl on LJ. I started to feel guilty over how short some of these chapters were, then I remembered that the original meme called for actual 100-word drabbles for each prompt.

x-xxx-x

"You've got to be kidding me," Red Alert muttered.

"It's not that bad," Inferno started.

Red Alert stared at him in disbelief. "How is it 'not that bad'? It's filthy."

"It's just mud," Inferno said mildly, stepping off the pavement and into the ditch. "They're going to get away," he reminded Red Alert when he hesitated.

Muttering, the Lamborghini edged towards the gravel, clearing the ditch in a short hop. Mud splattered as he landed, prompting an irritated grumble.

Unable to suppress a smile, Inferno stepped out of the ditch and into the muddy field beside him. "Where to, Red?"

Red Alert glared at him and checked his scanners. "This way," he growled, indicating with a jerk of his head.

Grinning at Red Alert's back, Inferno followed.

x-x-x

"_Got 'em!"_ Slingshot crowd over the radio. _"Skyfire, we're going to need you for pickup."_

"Great, we spent three hours alternating between slogging through organic fertilizer and rolling through mud up to my wheel-wells for nothing?" Red Alert huffed.

"They were just leaves," Inferno pointed out.

Red Alert gave him a flat look that made Inferno laugh.

"Inferno-" Red Alert started.

Inferno just grinned at him, picking a leaf off Red Alert's helmet. "You know, they're not going to need us for a while," he said quietly. He stroked the side of the Red Alert's face, smiling at the streak of mud he left down his cheek. "And since we're already muddy..."

Red Alert's expression turned considering.

x-x-x

They were, predictably, the last ones to straggle back into the Ark. Red Alert stalked past the Autobots lounging at the entrance, making a beeline for the washracks, trailing mud.

Sideswipe looked after Red Alert for a moment, then turned a questioning look towards an equally-muddy Inferno. "I take it you two had fun?"

Inferno just looked smug.


	16. Naive

A/N – Naive, with Fireflight. Claimed by hellsangelcurse on LJ.

x-xxx-x

"Why do I have to ask him?" Fireflight whined.

Slingshot shoved him. "Because you're cute, that's why. Just do it!"

"But-"

"Come on, you know he'd say no if either of us ask," Air Raid hissed. "We're counting on you, 'Flight."

"But-" Fireflight gave them both a pleading look. "He's going to see right through me, and then he'll be furious."

"We got faith in you," Slingshot told him, clapping him on the shoulder. "You won't let us down, will you?"

"You both suck," Fireflight muttered, giving in.

x-x-x

"Hey, Red?" a timid voice spoke up behind Red Alert. He turned to face Fireflight. The Aerialbot was standing in the doorway, fiddling with a datapad. "Um, we... I mean, I was wondering, there's this air show, and Air Raid and Slingshot and I-"

"No," Red Alert said firmly. "Out of the question."

Fireflight's optics went wide. "But-"

"I'm not going to be the one responsible for turning you three terrors loose at a public venue filled with aircraft," Red Alert continued briskly. "Did you need anything else?"

Fireflight looked down, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Um... Well, there's this one thing, but Slingshot said it'd be stupid, but I kinda want to go-"

Red Alert sighed, anxious to get back to work. "Just spit it out."

"It's an avian exhibit," Fireflight said, pulling out a small piece of paper and handing it to Red Alert. "Birds and things, and it's in a conference hall big enough for us, I already checked," he told him nervously.

Carefully unfolding the flier, Red Alert frowned, noting the location listed. _Less than fifty miles from the air show._ If it had been Slingshot or Air Raid making the suggestion, it would have been obvious exactly what they had been planning – get permission to go to the convention, and soon as they were out of range of the Ark's scanners, make a beeline for the air show.

He gave Fireflight a considering look. Fireflight smiled back shyly.

_This is Fireflight,_ Red Alert reminded himself. _I doubt he even knows what the word 'dissemble' means. I really am getting paranoid if I'm starting to suspect him_.

"Fine." He handed back the paper. "You can go. I expect all three of you back before the end of second shift."

Fireflight broke out in a big grin. "Thanks, Red! We'll be good, I promise!" The Aerialbot bounded out to tell his brothers the news.

Red Alert shook his head, a small smile on his face as he turned back to his reports.

x-x-x

"He said yes to the birds," Fireflight told them cheerfully.

"Yes! Air show, here we-" Slingshot clamped a hand over Air Raid's mouth, giving the cameras a significant look. "Oh, you said birds," Air Raid covered.

"Well, it's not an air show, but it's better than spending the day in here," Slingshot grumbled for the benefit of anyone listening.

"I like birds!" Fireflight said defensively.

"Whatever. Let's get out of here." _And soon as we're out of range of the scanners, it really will be 'air show, here we come,' _Slingshot thought smugly, following his brothers out.


	17. Horny

A/N- There's more than one definition to "horny." It can also mean hard or callous. Introducing Horny Red Alert, or The Author Decides to be Contrary. Set mid Season Three. Claimed by nkfloofiepoof over on LJ.

x-x-x

"I'd heard you were dead," Red Alert said quietly.

The seeker straightened and whipped around, coming nose-to-barrel with Red Alert's gun. He'd been so focused on trying to dig up everything the Autobots knew about what Galvatron was up to that he hadn't heard the Autobot enter.

_Of all people..._ Starscream pasted on a smile. "Red! Long time no see."

"Save it, Starscream. What are you doing here?" Red Alert's gun didn't waver.

Starscream spread his hands and shrugged. "Can't I come see old friends?"

"You don't have any friends here, Starscream. Step away from the computer," Red Alert said flatly.

Cunning red optics sized up the security director. "Come on, Red. It wasn't that bad, was it?" He took a step forward, sidling towards the Autobot.

The gun followed him. "How _exactly_ was it not bad?" Red Alert demanded coldly. "You used me, and you dumped me on the wayside the moment I became inconvenient."

"I didn't have any choice," Starscream said quietly, as sincerely as he could. "I didn't want to-"

"Don't bother," Red Alert interrupted him. "It's not going to work this time."

Starscream radiated innocence. "What isn't? I'm telling the truth, Red... I've thought about you-"

"What, in the context of 'how do I get past the security system?'" Red Alert asked with biting sarcasm. "Sit down, Starscream. I've already alerted the others; there's no way out for you."

"You could make one," the seeker purred, daring another step closer. "If you wanted to."

Cold blue optics stared flatly back at him. "I don't." His finger tightened on the trigger.

Starscream considered his options. There was a hardness in Red Alert's gaze that hadn't been there before, and he realized he wouldn't find mercy in the security director. _It really is too bad... _

Starscream sat. He'd bide his time and find another way to wiggle his way out; he always did.


	18. Dancing

A/N- Claimed by eeriansadow over on LJ

x-x-x

"Get him to dance," Jazz advised.

Inferno choked on his energon. He hadn't really expected Jazz to have a solution when he complained about how tense Red had been lately; Jazz was just one of those people that a mech found himself talking to whenever he had something on his mind.

"I'm serious," Jazz added, motioning with his cube.

Inferno gave him a dubious look. "No offense, Jazz, but I doubt human music is goin' to get Red to _relax_."

Jazz's expression was serene. "You'd be surprised." Inferno didn't look convinced. "Look, I'll find somethin' mellow and electronic, and you drag him out there, and I bet you're goin' ta be surprised."

"Maybe," Inferno allowed.

Satisfied, Jazz leaned back in his chair. "Trust me," he said with a grin.

x-x-x

Red Alert wasn't certain why he was sitting in the middle of a party instead of up in his security center where he'd much rather be. He _was_ certain that Inferno had something to do with it. No one volunteered for monitor duty instead of attending a party, especially not Windcharger.

But volunteered he had, and Red Alert suspected Inferno and a bribe or two had been involved.

"Come on, Red, it'll be fun," Inferno insisted again, grinning at him. "Just one dance?"

"Alright, alright..." Red Alert vented a sigh. Inferno wasn't dropping it, and Red Alert just wanted to get away from the noise and the lights go back to his quarters. "Just one," he warned as Inferno brightened.

"All I'm askin'," Inferno assured him, pushing himself to his feet and offering Red Alert a hand. Grumbling to himself, Red Alert took it.

"Hey, Inferno!" Inferno winced as Powerglide yelled his name. The minibot dodged around Tracks, trotting up to the fire truck. "Nice party, eh? Least Jazz finally found some halfway decent music."

Behind Inferno, Red Alert sighed. Powerglide was the umpteenth bot to say that tonight, but Red Alert honestly couldn't tell why. The music was still obnoxiously loud, and still irritatingly _alien_. Frankly, he couldn't wait to get out there and put as much decking between the blaring music and himself as possible.

"Yeah, Jazz sure outdid himself this time," Inferno was agreeing.

"Hey, big guy, I wanted to ask you a favor." Powerglide lowered his voice. "I was hoping you could help me out with something."

"Yeah, you know you can always count on me," Inferno assured him. "But can it wait a bit? I finally got Red to agree to a lil' dance."

"Sure it can wait," Powerglide told him agreeably. "But your dance partner's scrammed."

Inferno spun around to find Red Alert gone. He groaned. "Slag it to the Pit and back!"

x-x-x

Red Alert walked quickly up the hallway, putting as much distance between the party and himself as he could without actually running.

_Inferno's going to be upset,_ he thought guiltily. But he wanted out of that party. Inferno wouldn't have pushed the issue if he'd flat out refused, but this way Red Alert didn't have see the disappointment on his face.

It was juvenile of him, he knew. But he did it anyway.

He heard Inferno long before the fire truck rounded the corner. Red Alert paused, briefly debating ducking into his quarters before Inferno found him, but dismissing the thought almost immediately. Inferno would just follow him anyway.

"Red!" Inferno called, jogging up. "You disappeared on me back there."

"Yes, Inferno. I'm sorry." Red Alert sighed. Avoiding looking at Inferno, he punched in the passcode to his quarters. "It was rude of me," he said as the doors hissed open.

"I'm sorry, Red, if I knew ya hated dancin' that much..." Inferno started, following him in.

"It's not the dancing," Red Alert grumbled. "The dancing is just bizarre."

"Bizarre? I thought it looked kinda fun myself," Inferno insisted with a grin. "An' Spike says it's real popular with the humans."

"It's still a bizarre alien ritual."

"Aw, come one, it's not that bad. But if it wasn't the dancin', ya wanna tell me what's wrong?" Inferno asked with a twinge of worry. "Somethin' botherin' ya?"

Red Alert shook his head. "It was just crowded and noisy. If I'm going to be forced to take the evening off, I'd rather do it somewhere that doesn't make me want to rip out my audios."

Realization made Inferno pause. "Sorry, Red. Sometimes I forget how sensitive your hearing is," he apologized quietly.

"I noticed," Red Alert said dryly, turning away. "There's a reason I prefer a quiet evening in."

Wrapping his arms around Red Alert, Inferno pulled him back against his chest. "Well, how 'bout we try that instead, then?" he murmured, fingertips brushing the edge of Red Alert's headlight.

"That doesn't sound half bad," Red Alert mused, turning in Inferno's arms. "Besides, I still owe you a dance."

"There's no music," Inferno protested half-heartedly.

Red Alert just rested his head against Inferno's chest, letting the sound of Inferno's internal systems drown out the faint strains of music and laughter from the rec room several decks below.

"I can hear you," he murmured, laying one hand on Inferno's chest and feeling the engine's vibration underneath. "That's better music than anything Jazz could ever play."


	19. Kickass

A/N – Claimed by cmdrtekk over on LJ

x-xxx-x

"There's Inferno and the others," Blaster commented.

"Finally." Spike hopped off the bench. "Did they manage to convince Sunstreaker to come?" he asked, climbing out of the arena stand and trotting up to where Blaster was standing in the entrance. "Then again, it is a chance to show everyone up." He pulled a face. "Come to think of it, Sunstreaker probably ran them over to get out the door first."

"I count two Lamborghinis," Blaster confirmed. "Wait... make that three Lamborghinis."

"Wait, what?" Spike blinked. Three Lamborghinis? but... the only Lamborghinis on base were the twins... and Red Alert. He couldn't meant_ Red Alert_ was coming! The security director usually refused to leave base unless ordered to by Optimus himself.

Bumblebee jogged over. "Did I hear that right? Someone managed to drag Red Alert out of his cave?"

"Well, he is a sports car," Blaster said, dubious. "Maybe he just thought a day at the racetrack sounded fun?"

Behind Bumblebee, Cliffjumper snorted. "It's _Red._ I'm just wondering how Inferno managed to convince him to get his head out of his aft and join us for once."

It had been Sparkplug's suggestion that they blow off some of the tension of being trapped in close quarters on the Ark with a little racing. He'd pointed them to an old friend who managed a track who was more than willing to let them rent it on one of his off weekends.

Spike and a few of the others had gone early to set things up, and were enjoying the shade when Blaster had spotted the incoming Autobots.

"Hey, Red, they bribe you with a shiny new camera or something?" Cliffjumper called as the security director passed, following Inferno into the track.

Red Alert ignored him. Inferno transformed, grinning down at Cliffjumper. "Naw, it wasn't like that at all. All I had to say was 'racetrack' and he volunteered to come."

The red minibot looked dubious. "Anyone check him for glitches? More glitches, I mean?"

"That ain't very nice, Cliffjumper," Inferno said, still smiling but with a warning edge to his tone.

"Yeah, well, no one ever accused me of bein' 'nice'," Cliffjumper grumbled. He let it drop, not wanting to get on the fire truck's bad side so early in the day.

"Alright! Let's get this party stared!" Sideswipe crowed enthusiastically. "Who wants to be beat first?"

Sunstreaker snorted. "You do." He stalked past Sideswipe, ignoring Red Alert who was carefully testing the track with his front tires.

"Oh, yeah? Just don't scratch your paint job, Sunshine," Sideswipe mocked, dropping back into vehicle mode at the starting line. "Anyone else want their aft handed to them while I'm making Sunshine here eat my dust? No? Fine. Someone get over here and start this race."

Apparently finding the track satisfactory, Red Alert rolled the rest of the way on and slipped in between the twins.

The insult swapping stopped. "Uh, Red? Maybe you want to go wait on the sidelines?" Sideswipe ventured.

"He hit his head again, didn't he?" Sunstreaker's engine revved. "Come on, move it so we can get this race started!"

"You issued an open challenge," Red Alert pointed out, ignoring Sunstreaker. "But if you're both too afraid..."

"Let him get his aft kicked," Sunstreaker snarled. "It doesn't matter how many people join in, I'm still the fastest."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Sideswipe snorted. "Once around, first one across the finish line wins."

Grinning, Blaster stepped up beside them as the other Autobots found comfortable places to watch from. "Ready? Get set..."

Three Lamborghinis tensed, high-performance engines revving.

"Go!"

All three lunged forward, engines howling and tires scrambling for a good grip on the track. To the shock and horror of the twins and the bemusement of the watching Autobots, Red Alert easily paced the twins. Then to the twins' disbelieving sensors, he started to inch ahead.

By the time they rounded the first curve, he was half a length ahead of either of them.

Sunstreaker snarled. There was no _fragging_ way he was going to be bested by a slagging desk-hugging security_ geek!_ He lunged forward, pushing his engine hard in an attempt to overtake Red Alert. On the other side of the security director, Sideswipe was doing the same, refusing to give in and fall back.

For a moment it seemed to work, the twins holding their positions as the approached the final curve. Being on the inside, Sunstreaker had the advantage on the curve, and even started gaining on the white Lamborghini, bumper inching ahead as all three screamed around the corner.

His sense of victory was short lived. As the track straightened, Red Alert seemed to lunge ahead, tires eating up the track. He slid ahead, first by a bumper, then half a length, and then the twins found themselves gaping as he flashed his taillights playfully as he flashed over the finish line.

The twins crossed a spit second later, slowing to a stop in the middle of the track.

"That so did not just happen," Sunstreaker managed after a moment of stunned silence.

"How the frag did he...?" Sideswipe muttered in disbelief.

"Some of us," came all-together too smug voice, "Aren't packing half our weight in weapons and armor."

Sunstreaker's engine growled. "It was a fluke"

His brother just sat in shock. "What the frag...?" Sideswipe repeated to himself, still trying to process being beat by Red Alert in _anything_ except a paranoia contest.

"No one can be the best at everything," Red Alert said dryly, pulling around them and rolling off the track.

Sunstreaker sputtered. Sideswipe just sank down on his tires, still trying to come to terms with it. "..But... it's _Red Alert_."

"We_ noticed_, Sides," Sunstreaker growled.

"We got beat by _Red Alert?!"_

"Nice of you to finally get in through your processor," his brother snapped.

"Oi, you two gonna move your afts off the track?" Tracks yelled, itching for some speed of his own.

Transforming and tucking himself in next to Inferno, Red Alert settled down to watch, engine still rumbling. Inferno chuckled, running his hand across Red Alert's spoiler and tugging him closer.

"We shoulda done this ages ago," Inferno murmured, nuzzling the top of his helm.

Red Alert just nodded, leaning into Inferno, his engine subsiding to a contented purr.


	20. Caring

A/N - Claimed by jigsaws231 on LJ

x-x-x

Red Alert didn't have to look up to know who walked into the security center. "Not skipping off to the car rally with the rest?"

Tracks shrugged and pulled a chair over. "Nah. Raoul was busy, and I know when I'm not welcome." He offered one of the cubes he was holding.

Taking it, Red Alert shooting him an incredulous look. "Blaster invited you."

"Can't get anything past you, can I?" Tracks grinned, eying the monitors ruefully.

"No. You can't," Red Alert said smugly, smirking faintly. "The security director hears all, sees all, knows all."

Tracks made as if to throw his energon at him. Red Alert just laughed.

"There's a difference between being invited and being wanted," Tracks said after a moment, sobering. "Besides, I notice you're not there, and I _know_ Inferno tried to get you to come."

"I had things to do," Red Alert protested.

Tracks snorted. "That might work on Inferno, but it's not going to fool me. I'm sitting right beside you, and you're not doing anything."

"I got finished?" Red Alert tried.

"Sure you did."

"The crowds are noisy, and they give me a headache," Red Alert said with a sniff.

The look he got back was flat. "And that's the whole reason, is it?"

Red Alert sighed. "And there's a difference between being invited and being wanted," he conceded.

Lifting his energon, Tracks smirked. "Here's to us, the dateless jerks."

"I have a date, thank you very much." Red Alert grinned. "Just because you can't find someone who can stand to compete for mirror space with you..."

"Just because I have higher standards..."

Red Alert just gave him a sidelong smirk.

"Alright, so I'm dateless, and you're a jerk." Tracks made a face at him.

"I suppose being a jerk is better than being a paranoid glitch." Red Alert tapped his cube against Tracks' in a mock toast.

"You're lucky," Tracks said quietly. "Inferno's a good guy."

"Yes, he is," Red Alert agreed. He nudged Tracks. "Don't worry, someday you'll find a nice mech with no interest in your mirror."

Tracks made a face. "I don't know if I want someone who doesn't give a slag what they look like. There's such a thing as hygiene."

"Well, there's only one solution, then."

"What's that?" Tracks asked warily.

"Buy another mirror," Red Alert responded dryly.

Tracks grinned, and they settled back, watching the screens and their empty halls in companionable silence.


	21. Bath Time

A/N – Claimed by wilderness on LJ.

x-x-x

Nimble black fingers ghosted over armor, tracing lines in the soap sliding down his back. Inferno shivered at the touch, biting back a moan.

Red Alert made a displeased noise, resting one hand on Inferno's back reaching for the cleaning rag.

"What did you do? Roll in a tar pit?" If he noticed how the armor plate trembled under his hand, he didn't show it.

"Weeeell, not exactly," Inferno said weakly. "One o' the seekers dropped a cluster bomb righ' into the coal plant, an' there were still workers trapped inside... and with the hot tar goin' everywhere, someone had to go get 'em. An' seein' as I'm a bit more heat resistant than most..." he trailed off, twisting slightly to give Red Alert a sheepish look.

"Hmph. Like you would have stayed back anyway." Red Alert looked up from scrubbing with a small smile.

"Pro'ly not," Inferno admitted cheerfully, encouraged by the smile. "Good thing I am, though, ain't it? That stuff is awful stubborn, an' I ended up haven' to douse myself when the place went up as it was."

"I noticed," Red Alert commented dryly. "Seeing as you're covered in foam and ash as well as tar." He wrinkled his nose. "And you stink."

"Then it's a good thing I got you to take care of me, ain't it?" Inferno grinned cheekily.

Red Alert snorted, shoving Inferno's shoulder. "Turn around. I'm trying to clean back here."

Chuckling, Inferno leaned against the washrack wall. "I can't help it. There's this incredibly hot Lamborghini puttin' his hands all over me... In fact, if he don't stop, I'm not gonna be responsible for what happens."

"Oh, hush," Red Alert snorted, swatting him lightly. "Can't you behave yourself for_ one_ breem?"

Inferno pretended to think about that for a moment. "Nah, I don't think so," he said with a grin, turning and catching Red Alert around the waist. "This is much more fun."

"Inferno!" Red Alert yelped, suddenly finding himself between Inferno and the wall. "I don't need to be covered in tar!"

"Don't worry," Inferno murmured, running his hands down Red Alert's sides to rest on his hips. "I'll make sure you get properly cleaned up again," he said, nuzzling Red Alert's helm, lips brushing against the sensors as he spoke.

Red Alert shivered, barely holding back a moan. "...You'd better," he managed finally, voice hoarse. "But first," He wrapped his fingers under Inferno's bumper and pulled him closer. "You were saying...?"


	22. Greedy

A/N- Claimed by hellsangelcurse on LJ

x-x-x

Inferno cursed his luck. _So much for a nice relaxing afternoon drive, _he thought with macabre humor. _Hopefully Red has the sense to stay quiet an' hid until Starscream's out of range._ For once, he was thankful that Red Alert didn't rush blindly into anything. _Unlike me. And the last thing we need is to have two of us trussed up like this._

_'Course, Red's too smart to get caught like this,_ he reflected ruefully, struggling against the restraints binding his arms behind his back. Every movement aggravated the open wound in his side, but he ignored the pain in favor of trying to get free. Of all the embarrassing ways to get caught, an obvious trap set by Starscream of all 'Cons was probably the worst._ Caution, he's always tellin' me. Well, Red, if I get out of this one alive, I promise I'll listen more often, eh?_

It was looking less and likely that he'd have to follow through with that promise. He could feel the energon pooling under him, and his continuing struggles weren't doing anything except speed up the process.

"Well, well. What do we have here?" Starscream gloated. "What's wrong, Autobot? No dying declaration?"

Inferno glared up at him. "Yeah. Give me back m'gun an' I'll give ya a 'declaration.'"

"Oh, such brave words!" Starscream mocked. "Too bad you can't fight as well as you talk." He kicked Inferno hard in the midsection, smirking as Inferno cried out in pain.

"You won't get away with this," Inferno gritted out when he could speak again.

"I'm not?" Starscream said in mock surprise. "Oh, no! The Autobots, they're going to stop me!" He snickered. "I don't think so. You screwed up this time, Autobot. You got too far away from all your little Autobot friends, and no one even knows you're in trouble. Even if they did, they're all too far away to help you." He planted a foot on Inferno chest, sneering down at him. "You're mine, Autobot." He aimed a gun casually at Inferno's head. "Say good-"

The feel of a gun barrel on the back of his neck stopped him mid-word.

"Wrong, Starscream," Red Alert said coldly. "He's _mine._"


	23. Excited

A/n- claimed by BitterEloquence

x-x-x

"Alright, Red," Wheeljack called cheerfully, bustling in with a double arm-load of drafts and floorplans. "Ya ready?"

Red Alert looked up and grinned, quickly clearing off his desk. "I've been ready all week," he said, stacking a pile of datapads off to the side.

Wheeljack spread the plans across the desk, chuckling as Red Alert bent over them with an eager look on his face. "Almost think that I offered you a catalog of goodies, not a floorplan, Red."

Waving a hand dismissively, Red Alert snorted. "This is better than goodies." He grinned up at Wheeljack. "Lasts longer, for one."

"'Least until the twins get ahold of it, eh?" Wheeljack dragged a chair up. "Heh, maybe we oughta rig somethin' up to give 'em a surprise."

Red Alert's expression turned thoughtful. "...Could we?"

"Trap the cameras?" Wheeljack laughed. "Don't see why not." He leaned forward conspiratorially. "But I want copies of the tapes when they find 'em."

Red Alert smirked. "Deal. And I have an idea..."

x-x-x

"_Careful!"_

"_Shh!"_

"_I'm not so sure we should be doing this..."_

"_Too late now, Blue! Now be quiet, or you'll get us caught!"_

"_Both of you shut up! ...Almost got it..."_

Tucked away in the security center, Wheeljack and Red Alert watched the camera's picture bounce, a flash of a red arm guard appearing in the corner of the camera.

"_Frag it..."_

"_What is it? Can we just-"_

"_No! Shut up! Move, Sides."_

"_It's stuck!"_

The red arm guard disappeared, replaced by bright yellow.

"_Almost... there!"_

In the security center, Wheeljack and Red Alert leaned forward in anticipation.

"_What in the FRAGGING PIT!" _Sunstreaker abandoned stealth, jerking away from the camera and flailing. _"GET IT OFF!"_

"_Hold still!"_ Sideswipe tried to grab his brother.

"_PRIMUS! It's eating my paint! It's EATING MY PAINT!"_

"_Uh... should I get Ratchet?"_

"_No! Sunny, hold still!"_

"_YES! GET HIM! How can I hold still when it's EATING MY PAINT?! This was your stupid fragging idea!"_

Wheeljack turned to Red Alert, wing-blades shaking with laughter. "It's amazing what a little extra-strength solvent can do, eh?"

Red Alert tore his gaze from the spectacle on the screen long enough to grin back at him. "...So, can I have _all _my cameras rigged like that?"


	24. Exploring

A/N- Claimed by missusmandy over on LJ

x-xxx-x

"Ready for the grand tour?" Hound asked cheerfully, sticking his head into the security center.

Red Alert looked up from where he was re-wiring the backup systems. "Yeah, give me a moment to secure this." With a deft twist, he bundled the wires he was working on and closed up the panel. "Alright. let's go."

Hound grinned, leading the way to the exit. "Time to go see how utterly hopeless the security situation is outside."

"Can't be much worse than the situation inside," Red Alert grumbled. "You should have just put up a sign saying 'Please sneak in, we aren't looking.' It would have been more effective."

He'd almost missed the security director's snapping, Hound thought with a chuckle. It just wasn't home without Red Alert complaining about security. "Want to crawl up the mountain first, or head out to the perimeter?"

"Perimeter," Red Alert decided, folding into his new alt mode.

x-x-x

"Oh, hey, Red!" Inferno called, spotting a familiar red and white figure stomping up the hall.

_Mostly red 'n white_, Inferno amended, noting the mud coating his legs and splattered across his chest. "...Rough trip?" he ventured.

Red Alert turned at the sound of his voice. "What is _wrong_ with this planet?" he demanded. "I know it's organic, but does everything have to be so... so _messy?_"

"Aw, it's not that bad," Inferno said, suppressing a grin.

"Not that bad? _Not that bad?!_ I'm covered in decomposing organics!"

"It's called dirt," Hound called, moseying after the security director. "And it's only part organic. Some of it's rock."

Red Alert glared. "_Fine_. I'm _partially _covered in _decomposing organic material_," he snarled. "And what kind of insane species makes vehicles with such low clearance on a world that's distinctively _not_ flat?"

Hound's shoulders were shaking with the effort of not laughing. "Lamborghinis are designed for streets, not off-roading."

Red Alert threw his hands in the air. "I've seen the roads! That isn't flat, that's covered in bumps and potholes! And they're _sticky!_" He glared at Hound. "Stop laughing. It's not funny."

"I'm not laughing," Hound insisted with a wide grin.

Inferno chuckled.

Whirling around, Red Alert pointed a finger in Inferno's direction. "Don't you dare start."

Hound couldn't help it – he laughed.

"That's it," Red Alert growled. "I'm going to go lock myself in the washracks and not come out until I stop smelling like rotting vegetation."

"It's called _dirt!_" Hound called after him.


	25. Book Reading

A/N - Three more to go after this one! Claimed by cave_cat on LJ. And yes, the weather here sucks, why do you ask?

x-xxx-x

At first, the Autobots had been fascinated by the Earth winter, happily joining their human friends outside and playing in the snow. Snowball fights and a modified form of sledding became the local pastime of the moment. Even the more aloof members of the Autobots just shook their heads at the puddles of melting snow that followed them in.

But the games didn't last long. The weather quickly turned from peaceful snowflakes floating down to below-zero temperatures and blizzard winds. Icy roads shut down most of the transportation routes for everyone but the most hardy of the Autobots, and the humans opted to stay home instead of venturing out in the cold to visit.

Day after day of powerful winds that blew enough snow to obscure even radar left the Autobots feeling restless and couped up.

"What I'd give for a Decepticon attack right about now," Inferno muttered quietly. "Anything to get outta here." Sideswipe snorted in agreement.

"Until you get lost and stuck in a snowdrift," Red Alert pointed out blandly from the corner of the rec room he and Prowl had taken over. Six days of bad weather into it, and they were the only two seemingly unaffected by the enforced boredom. Even Optimus Prime seemed unusually restless.

"Hey, at least it'd get me somethin' to do for a few hours," Inferno said, flashing a grin. "Goin' stir-crazy over here!"

"It's not that bad," Prowl said, looking up from his datapad.

"Not all of us are bookworms," Jazz called back.

Prowl frowned at the turn of phrase. "Reading might do you some good, Jazz."

"I've got a few things I'd like him to read," Red Alert muttered. "The protocols, for one. It's probably even bran new reading material for him."

"Oh, zing." Jazz grinned. "That hurts, Red!"

"The truth often does," Red Alert told him primly, turning his attention back to his datapad.

"Readin's boring," Inferno said, stretching. "Don't like havin' to sit still that long."

"Really, I hadn't noticed," Red Alert said dryly.

"If you're all that bored," Prowl broke in, "I'm sure we can find something for you to do. There's quite a bit of decking around here that needs cleaning."

"Hey," Inferno raised his hands in surrender. "Ain't _that_ bored! Just don't know how y'all can stand sittin' around and starin' at datapads all the time."

"Then I suggest you find something to do that you find more desirable than mopping," Prowl said, tapping a key.

Red Alert was more blunt. "Shut up and let us read, or else."


	26. Daring

A/N - Claimed by huntingosprey over on LJ. And after this, there's only two left. Almost to the end!

x-x-x

"And what, precisely, is in it for me?" Red Alert asked, leaning back in his chair and steepling his fingers.

Bumblebee and Mirage exchanged looks. "Excuse me?" Mirage asked delicately.

"It's a simple question. What reason would I have for helping you pull what is undoubtedly going to be a very embarrassing prank on your superior officer? Especially considering that Jazz, in fact, outranks _me_." He cocked his head. "What's in it for me?"

"Personal satisfaction?" Bumblebee ventured.

Red Alert crossed his arms, unimpressed.

Mirage sighed. "What do you want?"

Red Alert smirked.

x-x-x

The plan was simple – and, Red Alert had to admit, a fairly decent plan, as far as they went. Florescent paint sprayers, temporarily built into the security system already in place, triggered remotely when Jazz entered the 'kill' zone.

The catch was that re-wiring a section of the security system without getting caught and dragged in front of their commanding officer by Red Alert would be difficult, if not completely impossible. Add to that the fact that Jazz would certainly notice if either of them were skulking around the room in question with a remote, and they decided that they needed the cooperation of one mech.

Red Alert himself.

Several lively negotiations later, and they had not one, but two 'kill' zones set up outside the rec room, just in case Jazz somehow got past the first or entered with someone else. Bribing Red Alert was going to cost them their free time for the foreseeable future, but it would be worth it to see their ever cool and calm leader's face when it went off.

Bumblebee and Mirage leaned casually against the wall outside the rec room to wait, pretending to be chatting amiably. Jazz was scheduled to come off patrol any minute, and after a quick stop in the washracks, the next logical stop was the rec room to refuel. And when he did, he would have to walk through both kill zones to reach the entrance.

And sure enough, a few minutes later, Jazz strolled around the corner, spotting them with a grin. "Hey, what's shakin'? We skulking out here for a reason-"

Mirage allowed himself a small smirk at the utterly shocked expression on Jazz's face as the paint sprayers went off, covering him in obnoxiously florescent paint. Next to Mirage, Bee didn't bother hiding his broad grin.

"To answer your question," Mirage told him primly, "_That _would be the reason."

Jazz planted his hands on his hips, mock-scowling at them.

"Like the humans say, Jazz," Bumblebee added, walking towards him for a better view, "'Turn about's fair play.'"

"I prefer 'Revenge is sweet', personally," Mirage added, strolling after. "Perhaps you'll be thinking twice before-"

Mirage was cut off by a loud hiss as they stepped into the second kill zone, the second set of paint sprayers soaking them both in florescent paint.

"_And__** I **__prefer the one that goes 'Never hand a person a weapon unless you're sure you know where they're going to point it,'" _Red Alert said smugly over their radios.

Jazz looked down at himself, then over at his shocked and brightly-colored subordinates, and burst out laughing. "I think we've all been got," he told them, chuckling.

Mirage looked less than impressed. Bumblebee just shook his head ruefully. "We walked right into that one, didn't we?"

"_Literally," _Red Alert agreed. _"Oh, and that grunt work you agreed to do for me in exchange for this? You can start by cleaning the paint out of my hallway."_


	27. Obedient

A/N - Claimed by okami_myrrhibis on LJ. Drunken shenanigans, yay!

WARNING: Sexual situations, non-explicit groping, general drunkenness.

x-x-x

"Because Lamborghinis are kinky," Inferno explained with a grin, leaning back in his chair.

"I'll have you know, I was kinky long before I was a Lamborghini," Red Alert said, speaking with the careful manner of someone who has drank way too much and is trying not to show it. "Besides, how would you know? Have you slept with any other Lamborghinis?" He grinned up at Inferno.

"Ev'ryone knows they are," Inferno said loftily, motioning with his cube for emphasis. His other arm was wrapped snuggly around Red Alert's middle. "An' gorgeous, too," he added, nuzzling the top of Red's helm.

"Bet you say that to all your Lamborghinis," Red Alert mumbled, tilting his head up to kiss Inferno.

"Hey, none of that!" Firestar chucked her empty cube at them. "No makin' out in front of the guests."

"Ya mean, no makin' out without includin' the guest, right?" Inferno broke off the kiss to grin at Firestar.

"Exactly." She waggled a finger at them. "So none of that 'less I get some, too."

"I knew it," Inferno teased, grin widening. "You just want me for my body."

"Oh, no," Firestar told him with mock seriousness. "I just want you for your Lamborghini."

Red Alert choked on his energon. "Fetishists," he muttered. "Both of you."

"That ain't a no," Inferno observed.

"You're serious." Red Alert looked back and forth between them.

"You're surprised?" Firestar grinned.

"I really, really shouldn't be." Red Alert shook his head

"Nope," Inferno agreed, nuzzling at the back of his helm. "So... whatd'ya say?"

"Since you asked..." _Since __**you**__ asked, _Red Alert thought, as Inferno's arm tightened around his middle. _For no one but you... but for you, anything. _"But just this once, so don't you two be getting any funny ideas," he added, waggling a finger.

"Cross my spark." Inferno's leer was anything but innocent.

"That doesn't even make sen- mph!" Red Alert broke off as Firestar took advantage of his distraction to plop herself in his lap and steal a kiss.

Then her hands were on his plating, and he suddenly found himself having misgivings about the whole situation. Not that Firestar would ever hurt him, but he couldn't help but feel that maybe this was a bad idea after all, and-

O_h frag, what in the Pit am I doing-_

"Shh, trust me," Inferno whispered hoarsely, his hand catching both of Red Alert's, holding him securely against his chest."I won't let anything bad happen t'you. Ever."

Red Alert found himself relaxing into the security of his arms. "I know," he murmured back.

Firestar propped her elbows on Inferno's shoulders. "Aw, you two are just so adorable sometimes."

"Adorable, huh?" Inferno grinned at her, then twisted, sending all three of them to the floor in a heap of laughter and tangled limbs.


	28. Transforming

A/N – Claimed by rezuri over on LJ with the prompt "transforming in the sense of personal growth." The very last one, folks! It's taken me almost a year and a half to finish this, but here we are. In some ways, I'm kinda sad that it's over, but it's a big relief as well. Thank y'all for reading!

x-x-x

_Cybertron, early in the war:_

"I demand a new partner."

Optimus looked up from the daily report when the security director barged in. "Good Morning, Red Alert," he said dryly.

"He doesn't follow orders, he doesn't listen," Red Alert growled, waving his hands in frustration and pacing. "He's got all the common sense of a rabid glitch mouse! How am I supposed to work in the field when my backup decides it's more_ fun_ to run off and try to get himself killed?"

Optimus set the datapad on the desk, waiting patiently for Red Alert's ranting to wind down.

"Transfer the suicidal idiot to somewhere else and give me someone who can actually follow a fragging order to stay put!" Red Alert finished, planting his fists on his hips.

"Inferno a good mech, Red," Optimus said calmly.

"Then let someone else have him! Frag it, he's worse than having no one!"

Optimus sighed. "Red, sit down." He steepled his fingers, waiting as Red Alert perched on the edge of the seat. "While I admit Inferno is a bit rough around the edges-"

Red Alert snorted.

"-He's both skilled and well-trained," Optimus continued, ignoring the interruption. "We're short on resources, Red. Everyone is going to have to make due with what – and who – they get."

"He ran off and _left_ me! In the middle of a firefight!" Red Alert was indignant. "What's the point in giving me backup if he's not going to _stick around_?"

"Discipline can be learned, Red, but you're going to have to give him a chance," Optimus said firmly.

Red Alert folded his arms over his chest. "Fine. But when we all end up dead because one idiot can't keep to his post, don't look at me," he grumbled.

"Noted," Optimus told him dryly. _And maybe the two of you will learn something from each other,_ he thought at Red Alert's back._ Inferno could use a little of your sense of responsibility, and you, my friend, could stand to learn that sometimes it's alright to relax._

x-x-x

"Red! Hey, Red!"

Red Alert twitched at the boisterous greeting._ And the last person I want to see would be..._ He walked faster.

Not to be deterred, Inferno jogged after him. "Hey, Red, I've been lookin' for you."

"Imagine that," Red Alert growled.

"So, I was wonderin' if ya wanted t'go y'know, get a drink or somethin'..."

"I'm working," he said shortly.

"Maybe after your shift?" Inferno asked hopefully.

Some mechs just didn't take a hint. "I'm _busy_."

"Oh." Inferno trailed along for a few steps in silence. "I just thought maybe since we were gonna be workin' together and all, we should get t'know each other a bit...?"

Red Alert stopped outside the security center. "I fail to see how getting drunk would improve our work performance." He keyed in the door code. "In fact, if you're interested in improving our working relationship, maybe you should be spending your free time reading up on protocol. Particularly the section on _how to obey orders._" He stalked into the security center, palming the door shut behind him.

Inferno just stood in the hallway for a long moment, staring at the closed door, shoulders slumping. "Yep. He's still mad." He heaved a sigh, turning and slinking back down the corridor.

"Hey, if it ain't the hero of the hour," Powerglide greeted him when he slunk back into the rec room. "Bumblebee was just tellin' us how you saved the day!" He raised his cube in a toast. "That was nice work."

"Glad someone thinks so," Inferno said glumly.

"Red giving you a hard time?" Bumblebee asked sympathetically.

"I don' think he likes me much." Inferno sighed, slumping into a chair.

"He's Red," Powerglide snorted. "He doesn't like _anyone._"

"He's not _that_ bad," Beachcomber protested.

Cliffjumper made a rude noise. "Yes, he is. He's a paranoid nutcase."

"Look who's talking," Bumblebee teased.

"Hey, compared to ol' Red, Cliffy's downright sane." Powerglide laughed. "Least he doesn't hallucinate about the Decepticons coming to murder us in our sleep."

"What the frag do you mean by that?" Cliffjumper demanded.

"Hallucinate?" Inferno repeated, unsure.

"You haven't been around long enough, but don't worry, you'll understand soon enough," Powerglide snickered, ignoring both Cliffjumper's glare and Bumblebee's disapproving look. "Just don't say we didn't warn you."

"Er...thanks, I guess," Inferno said, not at all reassured by the smirks and laughter.

Bumblebee caught the overwhelmed look. "Hey, it's not that bad. Red's just... particular. You get used to him."

"If you say so," Inferno said, discouraged. "I guess I should go try an' get somethin' done. No reason to give him any more reasons to yell at me," he sighed glumly, climbing to his feet and waving to the minibots. "See ya guys around, alright?"

x-x-x

"What was that?" Red Alert demanded, head lifting from the tangle of wiring he'd been working on. What exactly he was doing, Inferno wasn't sure, and considering the security officer's frosty attitude so far, he hadn't quite dared to ask for details.

Inferno frowned to himself, listening. "I don't hear nothin'."

"I did," Red Alert snapped back, testily. "Footsteps, it sounded like. From over there, around that building."

"From way over there?" Inferno gave the building a dubious look, remembering Powerglide's warnings.

Red Alert gave him a flat look. "Yes. From way over there."

Resigning himself to having to check out every noise, real or imagined, Inferno vented a sigh and started for the building in question, missing the glare Red Alert directed at his back. He was beginning to understand what the minibots had been talking about.

_But hey, at least it gives me somethin' to do besides sittin' 'round on my aft,_ he thought, poking his head casually around the corner. "Ain't nothing here but glitch mice an' rust," he reported cheerfully.

"You could at least _pretend_ to be taking this seriously," Red Alert growled when he returned.

"I am!" Inferno protested automatically.

"What, pretending?" Red Alert turned back to his work. "I can believe _that_."

Inferno fixed him with a hurt look, but Red Alert wasn't paying attention. Blowing air through his vents, he settled back to wait.

_Maybe they're right, maybe I'm wastin' my time,_ Inferno thought. _Some people are jus' like that, I guess._

Red Alert shut the casing of the perimeter scanner with a firm _click_.

"We done?" Inferno asked hopefully.

"I need to re-synchronize the scanner with the base computers, but after that, we'll be able to move on to the next one," Red Alert said, distracted.

Inferno sighed and slumped against the wall._ Joy, more of 'em. This day just gets more excitin' as we go_.

"That's strange," Red Alert muttered.

"What?" Inferno looked up.

"I can't reach the base computers on the link." He frowned. "And no one's responding to my comms. Frag it, we're being jammed!"

A quick check of his own comms told Inferno the same thing. "'Cons?"

"Who else?" Red Alert scanned the area, doors twitching nervously. "We need to get back, now!"

"They wouldn't have started jammin' if they weren't already in place," Inferno pointed out. "But I bet they don' even realize we're here. We could swing 'round and sneak up on 'em, catch 'em by suprise."

"And do what? Inferno, we're two people. Two! What in the name of the Matrix do you expect us to be able to do?" Red Alert turned away. "No. We're heading back to base, and that's final."

"Yeah, well, you mighta noticed, but I ain't the best at followin' orders," Inferno told him cheerfully. "I'm gonna go find out what these fraggin' Cons are up to."

"You're- you-" Red Alert sputtered. "What in the Pit do you think you're doing? We can't split up out here! We don't have any comms or any way to call for backup!"

"Well, if we can't split up, I guess that means we're both gonna go check out what the 'Cons are up to, don't it?" Inferno grinned, not at all concerned about the danger.

"..." Red Alert glared at his back. "When we get back, if we get back, I'm going to have you brought up on charges for this," he growled.

"Aw, Red, don't be like that..."

x-x-x

"What the frag is that?" Inferno muttered, peering over the piled rubble.

"Apparently, it's a very large dampening field generator," Red Alert murmured back.

Inferno turned to stare at his companion. "I didn't know you were an engineerin' specialist, Red..."

Red Alert snorted. "I'm not. But that's what they're calling it."

"You can hear them from here?" Inferno blinked in surprise. "So... what're we gonna do about it?"

"Why are you asking me? I'm here under protest, remember?" Red Alert frowned at the Decepticons below them.

"Yeah, well, if we hadn't come, no one woulda known 'bout the generator thing, and then where would we be?" Inferno grinned.

"Home, probably, with nice thick walls between us and them." Red Alert paused, thinking it over. "If we can't take out that generator, there's no way we'll be able to get a message out to the other outposts. By the time they even know we're in trouble, everyone will already be dead."

"Right, so we need to blow up the big generator thing, check." Inferno hefted his rifle.

"Inferno, you are not going to go charging down- Inferno! Get back here!"

x-x-x

"-And you already know the rest," Red Alert finished, pacing Optimus as he strode down the corridor from his office.

"I do," Optimus agreed. "So, have you changed your mind about Inferno?"

"He's a good mech," Red Alert admitted. He scowled at Optimus' smile. "But if he so much as _twitches_ on guard duty, I reserve the right to have the hot-headed idiot brought up on charges."

Optimus just chuckled. "It's good to hear that you're getting along. Now, aren't you supposed to be meeting someone for a celebratory drink, or did I mishear that?"

"I said I'd think about it," Red Alert protested. "Not that I'd go."

"Go, Red, it'll be good for both of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Red Alert demanded indignantly as Optimus gently but firmly pushed him toward the lift.

"Just try to have fun," Optimus told him. "Work will still be here in the morning."

Red Alert grumbled something impolite back at him, but allowed himself to be herded off the command deck. And if part of him was looking forward to a night off with his partner and now friend, well, he sure as slag didn't have to admit it.


End file.
